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LONDON : PRINTED BY SAMUEL BENTLEy,

Dorset Street, Fleet Street.

JACK BRAG.

BY THE AUTHOR OF " SAYINGS AND DOINGS,"—" MAXWELL," &c.

IN THREE VOLUMES.

VOL. I.

• • • • ' '

LONDON: RICHARD BENTLEY,

NEW BURLINGTON STREET.

1837.

* • • » • • •

« • • •

'■: •:•:.:

o

V'- .

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JACK BRAG.

CHAPTER I.

" My dear Johnny," said the respectable widow- Brag to her son, " what is the good of your going on in this way ? Here, instead of mind- ing the business, you are day after day gallop- ing and gallivanting, steeple-chasing, fox-hunt- ing, lord-hunting, a wasting your time and your substance, the shop going to old Nick, and you getting dipped instead of your candles.'"

"Mother," said Jack, "don't talk so fool- ishly ! You are of the old school, — excellent in your way, but a long way behindhand : the business is safe enough. You cannot suppose, with the education I have had, I can meddle with moulds, or look after sixes, tens, fours to the pound, or farthing rushlights ; — no, thanks

VOL. I. B

2 JACK BRAG.

to my enlightenment, I flatter myself I soar a little higher than that."

** No nonsense, Johnny !" said Mrs. Brag. " All you have now, and all you have spent since your poor father^'s death, was gained by your father's enlightenment of his customers : and how do you suppose I can carry on the trade if you will not now and then attend to it ?''"'

" Take my advice, my dear mother," said Jack, " and marry. I'm old enough now not to care a fig for a father-in-law ; — marriage is the plan, as I say to my friend Jjord Tom — straight up, right down, and no mistake. Get a sensible, stir-about husband, who does not mind grubbing, and hasn't a nose "

<(

Hasn't a nose ?" interrupted Mrs. Brag.

" I don't mean literally," said Jack, " but sportingly ; — does not mind the particular scent of tallow — you understand. Let him into the tricks of the trade : you will still be queen-bee of the hive, — make him look after the drones while you watch the wax."

"And while t/ou, Johnny, lap up the honey said the queen-bee.

5

JACK BR4G. 8

'•Do what you like," said her son, "only marry — * marry come up," as somebody says in a play."

" But, John," said Mrs. Brag, " I have no desire to change my condition."

" Nor I that you should," said Jack ; "but I wish you would change your name. As long as ' Brag, wax and tallow-chandler,' sticks up on the front of the house, with three dozen and four dangling dips swinging along the shop- front, like so many malefactors expiating their crimes, I live in a perpetual fever lest my numerous friends should inquire whether I am one of the firm or the family."

" Johnny," said Mrs. Brag, " you are a silly fellow. What is there to be ashamed of in honest industry ? If all the fine folks whom you go a-hunting with, and all the rest of it, like you, and are really glad to see you, it is for yourself alone : and if they, who must know by your name and nature that you can never be one of themselves, care a button for you, your trade, so as you do not carry it about with you, will do you no harm. Wliat

b2

4 JACK BRAG.

difference is it to them how you get your thorough-bred horses, your smart scarlet coat, neat tops, and white cords, so as you have them? — they won't give you any new ones when they are gone."

*' It is all very well talking,*" said Johnny, " but I never should show my face amongst them if I once thought they guessed at my real trade. I live in a regular worry as it is. If ever a fellovv asks me if I was at Melton last year, that moment I think of the shop — ' pret- ty mould of a horse' tingles in my ears — ' sweet dip of the country' sets me doubting ; and, only last week, a proposal to go 'cross coun- try and meet Lord Hurricane's harriers at Hampton Wick nearly extinguished me."

*' And what now, Johnny," said Mrs. Brag, " do you think these lords take you for, if not for a tallow-chandler .?"

"An independent gentleman," said Jack.

" That is to say," replied his mother, " a gentleman who has nothing to depend upon."

" They look upon me as an agreeable rat- tle," said John.

JACK BRAG. 5

" One that has often been in the watchman's hands too," said the old lady.

" I talk big and ride small,'' said Jack, "I am always up with the hounds — never flinch at anything,— am the pride of the field wherever I go, — and in steeple-chases of in- finite value."

" And very little weight, my dear Johnny," interrupted his mother.

" One of my dearest friends," continued Brag, " Lord Tom Towzle, a deuce of a fel- low amongst the females, is going to put me up as a candidate at the Travellers."

" What, riders for respectable houses ?" said Mrs. Brag : " and a very proper club too."

" Respectable houses !" said Jack. " Poh ! not a bit of it ! What ! bagmen in buggies with boxes of buttons in the boots? No, no ! the Travellers — par excellence.''''

" Par what?" said Mrs. Brag. " What, d'ye mean the fine Club-house in Pall Mall which you showed me the out side of, last King's birth night ?"

" The same," said Brag. " Now, if I had

6 JACK BRAG.

stuck to the naked, as Lord Tom says — told the plain unvarnished — I never could have qua- lified. Lord Tom asked me if I should like to belong to the Travellers ;"* — in course I said yes — straight up, right down, and no mistake. Well, then he asks me if I could qualify ; — so not quite understanding him, he says, ' Have you ever been in Greece ?' — ' Yes,' said I : — I might have added ' up to the elbows often ;' didn't though. Had him dead. Down he whips my name, and calls in Sir Somebody Something out of the street to second me."

" If you should get in there Johnny," said Mrs. Brag, " do get ""em to give up gas and take to oil on illumination nights. But what I think is, somebody is sure to find you out, Johnny."

" Time enough," said Jack. " I 'm going it now smooth and soft across the country, increas- ing my acquaintance ; falling into the society of elegant females — women of fashion, with beautiful faces and liberal hearts ; — introduced to three last week — proud as peacocks to every- body else, delighted with me;— met them at

JACK BRAG. 7

Ascot — cold collation in the carriage — cham- paign iced from London; — got on capital — never was so happy in my life — hottest weather I ever felt ; spirits mounted — I was the delight of the party — told them half a dozen stories of myself, and made them laugh like cockatoos, but I was bundled all of a heap by the Mar- quis of Middlesdale, who had been at luncheon with the King, who, in passing the barouche, gave me a smack on the back you might have heard to Egham, and cried out, ' Jack, this is a melting day, isn't it ?' "

" He meant it, Johnny, depend upon it,"" said Mrs. Brag.

" I've no doubt he did," said Brag, " for it was as hot as ever I felt it "

" — In the back shop," interrupted his mother. " But pray, Johnny, where do these people think you live ?"

" At a great house in Grosvenor-street," said Jack, " next door to What-d'ye-call-'em's Hotel : my name is on the door, and my ad- dress on my card."

But you don't live there," said Mrs. Brag.

((

8 JACK BRAG.

*' Not I," replied the son : " I only rent the door."

" How d'ye mean ?" said his mother.

" Why, I went to the man," said Brag, " who keeps the house. ' Now, sir,' said I, ' I want to rent four square inches of your pa- nels. He was puzzled for the moment ; but I was down upon him in no time, and no mis- take. — Out I pulls from my pocket a brass plate of those precise dimensions, whereon is engraven * Mr. Brag.' — ' What will you take per annum,' said I, * to let this be screwed on to your door, and let your servant take in my cards and letters .?' Startled him a little at first : how- ever, he entered himself for the plate, acceded to my proposition, — and so for the trifling con- sideration of four guineas per annum, and a tip to the slavey, I get the credit of five windows in front, three stories high, in one of the best streets in London."

" But do none of your friends ever expect to be let in .''" said Mrs. Brag.

" Yes," said Brag, " for a good thing now and then, — and so they are, pretty often. Long

JACK BRAG. y

head, mother — have it here"— tapping his fore- head with his fore finger — *' look simple with my fresh colour ^and curly hair, but as deep as Garrick — cannot write your X's, Z"'s with me, — else, in course, they might expect admission. ' Not at home,' is always the answer. ' Out of town r"* is the next question ; — * Yes,' is the next answer. — ' Where ?' comes next. — ' Down at his little place in Surrey.' That finishes it. They lodge their pasteboard and away they go."

" Little place in Surrey !" said Mrs. Brag ; — " why, what d'ye mean ? — have you a coun- try-house too .?"

" Country-house !" said Brag. " Lord bless your dear heart, not I ! Nothing but my old lodging, on the second floor. No. 37, at the carpenter's, corner of Caterpillar-row, Ken-

nington."

" And that you call your little place in Surrey, do you ?" said Mrs. Brag.

" Yes, mother, and no fib neither," said Brag. " It is almost the littlest place I ever saw in my life ; and as for Caterpillar-row, if

B 5

10 JACK BRAG.

it isn't in Surrey I know nothing of going 'cross a country."

" Ah, Johnny, Johnny," sEjid his respected parent with a mingled look of sorrow and ad- miration, " you never will mend till it is too late !"

" Mother," said Jack, " now you say that, I think I shall be too late for Lord Tom Towzle. We are going off for Wigglesford to mark out a line. All ready for a run : we have got no mercy in us, — none of your bowling-green, daisy-cutting work for us — no, we'll try to pick out rasping fences, bottomless brooks, and ditches as wide as rivers ; — a steeple-chase without killing a horse or two, cracking a col- lar-bone, slipping a shoulder, or pitching an out-and-outer on the top of- his conk, is no fun in the world."

" Ah ! well, well," said Mrs. Brag, " I wish you would give a little time to the books and the business : some day you '11 repent this."

" Not I, mother," said Jack ; " I can pull up any day and marry. I never yet saw the woman I could not win — they are all ready to

JACK BRAG. 11

eat me up : in course, as the book says, I am the more wary — hang back a bit. Don't you see, as I get on in the world, I get up ; and if I can marry a Lady Sally or a Lady Susan — eh ! won't that be nice ! — 'specially if there happens to be an odd thirty or forty thou- sand pounds tacked to the title."

" Don't flatter yourself Johnny," replied Mrs. Brag, shaking her head : " that scheme will never answer."

*' You'll see," said Jack ; — " I say nothing, but you'll see. If I were to sit down and write an account of my adventures with the females, I should be run after like a sight. The females of fashion that I meet at the races call me ' dear Johnny' as it is."

" I wonder you are not afraid of seeing the ghost of your poor father," said the widow.

'* What ! the Governor ?" cried Jack ; " never mind ghosts nor Governors, here is my Lepo- rello. So I'm off". Good-b' ye, dear mother ! — you'll see me soon again, — I shall be back by Saturday, and so keep snug Sunday.'*

" Where.'' at your town-house in Grosve-

12 JACK BRAG.

nor-street," said the old lady, " or your little place in Surrey ?"

" Neither, I take it," said Jack, looking as wise as a very foolish person could. " I devote Sunday afternoon to a very select society — eh ! — females of fashion, delightful creatures, and all that. So adieu !"

Kissing the matron's cheek, away went our hero in order to revel in all the luxuries of sport, and in the society which, he admitted, kept him in a fever while he was in it : not that the true circle of his aristocratic ac- quaintance was particularly large, however much he nominally increased it by dubbing every man his friend with whom he had hap- pened to hunt in the same field or dine in a public company of three hundred and fifty ; and every well-dressed woman a lady of fashion whom he happened to see with the tigers in, whose set he mingled.

Mrs. Brag, who felt extremely anxious about her son and herself, saw that the business was rapidly " burning down." The introduction of oil had superseded wax ; and since that, the

JACK BRAG. 13

adoption of gas had superseded oil. No efforts were made to improve the concern, and all she heard, was of considerable drafts from the ac- count at the banker's, and very small payments into it ; and Mrs. Brag, a comely, hearty-look- ing body of her time of life, began to ponder the words which her dutiful son had with little apparent earnestness let drop, as to changing her condition, with a view to increase the repu- tation of the house and extend its sphere of ac- tion, while the name at sight of which her son trembled, might be withdrawn. She did not clearly see her way in this proceeding : nor had she either fixed her affections upon any parti- cular object, nor was she conscious that she had attracted the regards of any suitable part- ner. However, the notion was entertained — the idea had been started ; and how the exemplary matron set her means to work, in order to effect the grand object, we may, if we live long enough, yet discover.

The reader perhaps, in the few pages which he has yet either been doomed to, or condescend- ed to read, has already discovered what sort of

14 JACK BRAG,

man Mr. John Brag is, or was. It seemed best to give a short domestic scene in the candle- manufactory by way of prelude to the genteel comedy in which the gay deceiver is destined to perform ; and it will be only necessary to keep in mind the sage yet ineffective lesson of the dear old body to whom her affectionate son recommended matrimony, in order duly to ap- preciate the performance of her " pretty boy," who, spite of his colour and his curls, was verging upon what may be called the " shady side" of thirty.

Old Mrs. Brag had, as Miss Scropps, married at seventeen ; and altho\igh, as far as my own experience goes, I admit I never saw such a thing, she was said to be a lady of nearly fifty- five years of age, somewhere about the period at which this glimpse at the history of her yet unrecorded family begins.

It may be supposed that I should apologise for bringing the eyes, or perhaps the noses, of my readers in contact with all the arcana of Mr. John's shop ; but I have a reason for doing so. I propose not merely to show by illustration how

JACK BRAG. 15

very ridiculous a pretender must always be, but to exhibit a striking instance of the retribu- tive justice which seems somehow to keep the world in an equipoise, by exhibiting the won- derful utility of which the meanest and stupid- est animal extant may prove ; as vide (to quote the words of James the First, about Daemon- ology) the fable of the Lion, the Mouse, and the Meshes.

Soar we then for a moment from the gloom of the tallow-chandler to a more charming re- o-ion, and to people of a different mould,— and yet who, as the reader will see, may in the course of events become connected, and inti- mately too, with our sprightly gentleman in the scarlet jacket and white cords. Let us, therefore, betake ourselves to the boudoir of one of the most charming young widows in Eng- land, where she is sitting tete-d-tete with her unmarried sister, talking over two absent gen- tlemen, whose tempers and dispositions are the immediate subject of their conversation.

Mrs. Dallington, the elder of the two ladies so engaged, had been married at nineteen,

16 JACK BRAG.

merely to oblige her father, (who died six months afterwards,) to a gentleman of the name which she still bore ; who, to all the other merits which distinguished his character, emulated in a high degree the fox-hunting propensities of the tallow-man in the white cords of whom we have just spoken. He was, however, rich, and a gentleman, and had a right to make as great a fool of himself as he pleased, — and so he did : and the foolery began in his leaving a beautiful wife, with a pair of eyes as black as sloes and as bright as diamonds, alone and moping, while he was amusing himself by fol- lowing his dogs, which dogs were following something certainly not sweeter than themselves across the country.

Mr. Dallington, who rode about nine stone four, one fine morning, when the scent lay " uncommon strong,"" the dogs in full cry, the field in a state of the highest excitement, the fox going away right on-end across a heavy country, which would probably break the hearts of some of the horses and the necks of some of the riders, met with a slight accident, which in

JACK BRAG. 17

fox-hunting goes for very little, but which in its proverbial or rather convivial parallel, matrimo- ny, goes for something more. In switching a ras- per, the exemplary and high-spirited gentleman missed his tip and pitched right upon his head in the middle of a ditch, where he remained exactly long enough to make the lovely wife he had left at home a very delightful widow.

Dallington, or at least what had been Dalling- ton in the early part of the day, was put upon a hurdle and taken to a farmhouse ; whence the melancholy intelligence was conveyed to his lady, who, with all the respect she felt for her late father's judgment in selecting him for her partner for life, considered the event which had just taken place as philosophically as any woman of strong feelings and a tender disposi- tion might be supposed to endure any sudden shock which results from the death of a fellow- creature.

True, most true it is, she never had felt that sort of love for the husband forced upon her, as a " fine match," which a woman ought to feel for the being who is destined (if he be fortu-

18 JACK BRAG.

nate enough) to share her hopes, her wishes, and her happiness. Mrs. Dallington was a creature all intellect, all vivacity, all fire ; full of arch playfulness and gaiety of heart, and as completely the reverse of her quiet, timid, and sensitive sister, as light of darkness, fire of water, or any other two unmeetable oppo- sites.

There are many adages connected with love and matrimony which it must be admitted are, however forcible in themselves, extremely con- tradictory of each other. But, in the course of considerable experience in such matters, I am apt to imagine that the real truth is — sup- posing always exceptions to general rules — that women are most apt to prefer men the least like themselves ; and men, vice versa. It is the pride of a little man to have a large wife; it is the taste of a tall man to possess a short one : a fair woman admires a dark Lothario ; while a bright-eyed brunette delights in blazing away upon a fair Romeo. A learned man eschews a blue partner ; he relaxes into ease in the company of his ordinarily-educated better-half, and reposes from his graver studies in the agree-

JACK BRAG. 19

able common-places of an intelligent but not abstruse associate ; while the learned lady pre- fers the plodding spouse, and never desires that he should meddle with her arts and sciences, but merely wishes him to exert his energies in the comfortable arrangement of their establish- ment, and the acquirement of the supplies necessary to set off her own attractions in their most alluring form before the visitors whom she chooses to invite.

The assimilation of tempers and dispositions by which happiness grows between married couples is, in fact, a habit most amiable and advantageous : the handwritings of men and their wives become like each other in the course of time. But whether the love of contraries in the abstract, be or be not so general as some observers would have it to be, certain it is that in the particular individual case before us it did exist.

Sir Charles Lydiard had been, just about the period at which the reader is introduced to him, some two years paying his addresses to the vivacious widow Dallington. He was a man of high principle, rigid honour, polished

20 JACK BRAG.

manners, and most amiable disposition ; but

he was cold, reserved, and even suspicious of

the object of his affections. His suspicions, or

perhaps they might be more justly called

doubts, arose not from the slightest want of

confidence in the candour or sincerity of the

lady, but in a want of confidence in himself.

He might fairly have said to his heroine with

Steele''s hero : —

''Of you I am not jealous, —

' Tis my own indesert that gives me fears :

And tendetness forms dangers where they 're not.

I doubt and envy all things that approach thee."

There he was, the constant, faithful lover, never away from the house, sitting and sighing " like furnace," listening to the gaieties of Mrs. Dal- lington's conversation, a very spectre of des- pair, not ill described by the English Aristo- phanes in the person of one Harry Hectic, with a bunch of jonquils in his button-hole, looking dead and dressed, like the waxwork in Westminster Abbey. There was no animating him, no rousing him into a proposal ; his at- tachment had become habitual, and day after day the affair went on without "progressing," as the Americans have it, one inch. And yet

JACK BRAG. 21

the widow was devoted to Sir Charles. It must be admitted that she every morning expected the question ; but every evening that expectation was bh'ghted, and the worthy baronet returned from his placid state of negative happiness to his solitary home, to lie awake for hours balancing the chances of matrimony, and endeavouring to make up his mind to the de- ciding inquiry which, if the real truth were told, he lingeringly delayed, apprehensive that it might meet with a negative certain not only to kill the hopes which sometimes outweighed his doubts, but to put an end to his acquaint- ance with the charming widow altogether.

While Sir Charles Lydiard remained thus drooping in the bright sunshine of Mrs. Dal- lington's eyes, her timid sister Blanche was undergoing a siege of a very different nature. Far from contenting himself, to use a mili- tary phrase, with sitting down before the place, and establishing a corps of observation merely to watch the enemy, Frank Rushton, who was more madly in love than ever dandy had been found to be for many years, had for the last three months,- — the whole period, in fact, of

22 JACK BRAG.

his acquaintance with her, — been assiduously and incessantly carrying on an attack upon the heart of his adorable Dulcinea ; and, as it ap- peared, with as little chance of making an im- pression as her sister had of exciting Sir Charles to an offer. In fact, the four players at this love-game were equally divided into the fiery and frosty ; but, which in the sequel made all the sport, as Mr. Brag would have called it, the partners were so curiously matched, and the icicles and sunbeams so regularly and heraldi- cally counter-changed, that the lovers and their mistresses were the exact opposites of each other. It was extremely amusing to hear the discussions in which Sir Charles and his friend Rushton were in the habit of indulging.

" My dear Frank," said Sir Charles, " your affection for Blanche is madness, — the way in which you go on, sets me in a fever : and as for the poor young creature herself, she is ab- solutely harassed out of her wits."

" So you think. Sir Charles,"" replied Frank ; "but it strikes me that her sister would not be less pleased with your society if you

JACK BRAG. 23

were to follow my example. Why there you sit, moping and melancholy, as if you were on the edge of your own grave, instead of being on the verge of all earthly happiness : you look and languish, sigh and say nothing, and, like the Cardinal, ' die, and make no sign.' "

"It may be so," said the baronet, — "I suppose it is so ; but I cannot, — struggle as I may with my feelings, — I cannot overcome the doubts which seem to me to cloud the prospect of the felicity of which you talk so easily.''

" Doubts ! my dear friend," said Rushton ; " what doubts can you have? Your doubts are, in fact, jealousies, — and how needless! Mrs. Dallington has been a wife, — and never was a more exemplary wife in the world."

"Her trial was short," said Sir Charles; "nor should I call it a fair one, — her marriage was not one of love."

" Then so much the greater her credit for the conduct she observed," said Rushton.

" The struggle did not last long," replied Sir Charles : " her husband was killed within eight months of their mari'iage."

24> JACK BRAG.

" She bore her loss hke a Christian,"" said Rush ton.

" Yes," sighed the baronet ; " it is wonderful to behold the pious resignation of ladies in her position."

"Well,"" said Rushton, " if your appreheb- sions overcome your affection, and your doubts transcend your hopes, break off the acquaint- ance at once, — take your hat and go — "

*' — And be neither missed nor inquired after, in all probability," said Lydiard.

'* There you wrong your fair friend," said Rushton. " She values you, esteems you, and with a very little trouble on yoiu' part would love you. Your flame is so gentle, that it scarcely warms ; and, like the fire in the grate there, if she did not occasionally stir it with good nature and kind looks, my belief is, it would go out entirely."

" My dear Rushton," said Sir Charles, "you entirely misunderstand my character, and the character of my affection for our charming friend : my doubts are the ' fruits of love."' "

JACK BRAG. 25

" A most disagreeable harvest, Lydiard replied Rushton.

" True," said Sir Charles, " but I cannot conquer them. You blame my caution and coldness ; but when I see you devoting your- self, hand over head, if I may so say, to the mild, quiet, timid, blushing creature, Blanche, I cannot, since I had the honour of introducing you to the family, but feel anxious on your ac- count. I don't believe one word of all those pro- fessions of meekness, and mildness, and modesty of which that young lady is so profusely liberal. I have seen her exchange looks with her sister, — while you, blinded by your passion, have seen nothing — which convince me that you would do well to scrutinise and consider before you plunge into the stormy ocean of matrimony."

" Why,"" said Rushton, " Blanche is some- thing like Moore's beautiful Nora Creena :

* Few her looks, but every one Like unexpected light surprizes.'"

" Egad !" said Lydiard, " the light I saw was both surprising and unexpected. I have some little experience in family telegraphs, but the signal she threw out was one not altogether

VOL. I. c

26 JACK BRAG.

complimentary to you^ for she seemed to me to be laughing at you." •

" Don't be too sure of that, Charles," said Rushton. " I too have seen those telegraphic symptoms ; and my opinion is, that \i you were to adopt my style of proceeding, you would find the widow much less attentive to her sister's evolutions. But no ; — you have fallen into a custom of going there day after day ; you feel at your ease, you enjoy the society and con- versation of a delightful person ; and because you have nothing to excite you to action, so the affair goes on — not even a dash of jea- lousy to create a fermentation in your cup of nectar."

" There you mistake," said Lydiard. "I — I — certainly never have touched upon the sub- ject— never opened my lips to a human being about it ; but I am not quite so sure that it is not jealousy which keeps me backward and depresses me.*"

" Indeed !" said Rushton ; "jealous ! What of somebody who visits at the house.'"'

" Yes," said Sir Charles.

JACK BRAG. 27

" Do you mean Sir Baggs Waddilove ?"" said Rush ton.

" Psha— no."

" Perhaps that Colonel Scram shaw ?"

" Not a bit of it."

" The Count r

" What, Swagandstraddle !— No." .

" Lord Tom Towzle .?"

" You burn," said Sir Charles, " as the chil- dren say to the blinded one ; — not of him, Frank — what think you of his friend.

" What, that horrid, vulgar dog, Brag," said Rushton, " his toady — his spaniel ?"

" Upon my honour, yes," said Sir Charles.

" The deuce you are !" said Rushton ; " that's very odd."

" It is," said Lydiard. " I confess I am almost ashamed of being ruffled by such a fellow ; but, somehow, Mrs. Dallington seems so much at her ease with him, notwithstanding his vulgarity, his glaring ignorance, and his un- bounded impertinence, that, upon my honour

I cannot help thinking you know women

are very odd creatures, and I "

c2

28 JACK BRAG.

" You surprise me, Lydiard,"" said Rushton, " but not disagreeably. I have thought, — only doYi't mention it— that Blanche has a sort of, — eh — you understand me — a partiality for him — I don"'t know how it is ; she certainly looks at the monster, now and then."

" What," interrupted Lydiard, " some more of her few unexpected lights, eh ?"

" I cannot understand it," said Rushton : " I suppose he entertains them with his ab- surdities, and his nonsense, and even his vanity, and his vulgarity. But I think we may both be pretty secure, that neither of such women as your widow and my Blanche could entertain a serious thought of a fellow of whom nobody knows anything except as Lord Tom Towzle's tiger, especially in a house into which Lord Tom himself finds it particularly difficult to get the entree.''''

" No," said Lydiard, " one would not think there was much danger; and yet — yet you 7vill allow it is very odd indeed that we should both have been struck with the same notion .?"

" So it is," replied Rushton. " However, as

JACK BRAG. 29

far as / am concerned, I am determined to fathom the affair to the bottom. I love Blanche better than my life ; but if I thought — "

" Stop, stop, Rushton," interrupted the worthy baronet. " What has gone with your stern reproof of my scepticism ? Here are you who have been just rallying me upon my doubts with regard to the loveliest of her sex, now coming; to fathom an affair to the bottom which implicates in your mind the sincerity and single-heartedness of one of the purest, gentlest Nora Creenas that ever walked with her eyes cast down upon the earth."

" Hang the fellow !" said Rushton ; " it is too ridiculous ! Besides, he is not often there. Yet, never mind — he may do good : the smallest wheel in a great piece of machinery has its work to perform to keep all the rest going. This stupid animal may serve to equalize our passions, and make us see clearer ; he will cool me and warm you, and who knows but it may turn out all for the best V

"Why," said Lydiard, "the fact is pretty clear : — As we have not, even in this age of libis-

30 JACK BRAG.

rality, arrived at so great a reform of the church as to establish the toleration of bigamy, he can marry but one of the ladies ; and, as far as I am concerned, if my adorable widow has a taste which would lead her to admit the pretensions of that miserable little animal, I am quite sure it never could be diverted into a passion for me : and so, Mr. Rushton, if he conquer, he is perfectly welcome to the fruits of his triumph."

" Ah, that's it ! " said Rushton : " there are prudence, philosophy, wisdom, and half a dozen other splendid qualities, combined ! But as for me, if he were to be smiled upon in earnest by Blanche, it would be the last gleam of sunshine one of us should see : he never should live to enjoy the happiness of which he had deprived me ! "

"Now, Rushton," said Sir Charles, "how unjust, how inconsiderate that is! If Blanche smile on him and not on you, it is a clear proof that she prefers him. Why make her miserable by killing the little man ? You might as well shoot her poodle or wring the neck of her canary-bird."

JACK BRAG. 31

How much farther this dialogue which was hereabouts interrupted, might have been car- ried, it is not in my power to say ; but sufficient has been developed to the reader to show that the incomparable Jack Brag, by dint of the equivocal introduction of his master Lord Tom Towzle, had obtained footing at least in one respectable and agreeable house. It is, as Sir Charles Lydiard says, a matter of impossibility to ascertain the particular qualities or circum- stances by which women of station and talent, as well as their inferiors in rank and intellect, are captivated. Certain it is, that after once Mr. Brag had been admitted to Mrs. Dallington's house, he was a visitor there as frequently as he could contrive to manage it ; and, as we have seen, although his other avocations were nu- merous, he had contrived to unsettle the minds of two most respectable gentlemen of totally different characters and dispositions, both pur- suing similar objects by different roads.

We must now recur to Mr. Brag himself, and his career in other places, into which the; bright eyes of the gay widow and her lovely sister cannot be expected to penetrate.

32 JACK BRAG.

CHAPTER II.

When Mr. John Brag left his respected mother, he hurried off to the rendezvous of his sporting friends, whence they proceeded in a body to mark out the line of country for the stee- ple-chase. In this operation he exhibited, as he fancied, all the tactics of the most experienced quartermaster-general. In endeavouring, how- ever, to elucidate the difficulties of a leap which, he thought essential to the effect of the race, he came somewhat unexpectedly off his horse. A little dirt, and a bruise or two out of sight, of which he gave no evidence, were all the conse- quences of this performance ; and having made every necessary arrangement for the exhibition of the following day, he hastened to a small public-house a little way removed from the high road, which rejoiced in the sign of the

JACK BRAG. 33

" Duke of Marlborough," in order to change his clothes and prepare himself for a flying visit to the shop, to which a promise made to his mother in the morning was carrying him in the after- noon.

When some of Brag's associates in the field questioned him as to his cause of hurry, he made his excuses in so confused a tone, that he left, as he meant to do, an impression upon the minds of his country cronies, that he was under an engagement to the illustrious de- scendant of the hero of Blenheim and Malpla- quet, rather than to the landlord of the house where the pictured warrior swang " high in air" before the door. However, it was all " straight up, right down, and no mistake ; " and the pretender " cut 'cross the country " to his hostelry, at which had been deposited his portmanteau " down per coach," which con- tained his clothes for the two coming days' per- formances,— his pet scarlet coat and white cords by way of a show, and if necessary a pink silk jacket with yellow sleeves for the steeple-chase.

When he arrived at the goal — the sign of the

c5

34 JACK BRAG.

" Duke of Marlborough,"" he was surprised to find the only sitting-room of the "hotel" occu- pied. A stranger, who had been driven into the house for shelter from the " pitiless pelt- ing" of a hail-storm, in which the admirable tallow-chandler had been drenched, was sitting before the fire — agreeable in any season in Eng- land, but particularly so in the equivocal wea- ther of a British spring — reading the County Press of the preceding Saturday, redolent of tobacco, and stamped with the circular impres- sions of sundry pewter-pot bottoms which had reposed upon its columns.

" I say, Stubbs," said our hero, who was known to the landlord as ' the most sportingest gentleman as ever come down to them parts,' " what ""s this ? I ordered my dinner this morn- ing"— (his luncheon with the Duke of Marl- borough,)— "and find the room engaged; — what 's this .?"

An attempt on the part of Stubbs to soothe the boiling rage of Brag, by sundry qualifying expressions of regret, and a few " I dare says," and " The gentleman won't be long," and seve-

JACK BRAG. So

ral such pacificatory observations, was happily seconded by the occupant of the parlour himself; who upon beholding the inflation of the little Cockney, whose vulgar red and white face was illuminated by the fire which raged within, rose from his seat and said, in tlie best possible humour, that he feared he was an intruder, but that he had been driven in by stress of weather ; that he had ordered some luncheon, which he concluded was nearly ready ; and that if the gentleman would permit him to do so, he should be happy to share the repast with him, which, as he seemed to be himself wet and cold, would per- haps not be disagreeable to him.

" Oh,"" said Brag, " Fm not the chap to quarrel about trifles : only, I certainly, when I sent my horses down here, did say I should come and dine here ; and I have been here often be- fore, and I never was served so till to-day. However, I'm much obliged by your civility, and haven't the least objection to join you, each of us in course paying, share and share alike."

" Oh, as you please," said the stranger, in

36 JACK BRAG.

whose eye there lurked a laughing smile, and who seemed satisfied, by the little he had seen of his new and important acquaintance, that he should find something like amusement in the cultivation of a temporary friendship with him.

" I'll just step up-stairs," said Brag, " and cast my skin, as I call it ; and by that time, Stubbs, the luncheon will be ready."

" In five minutes, sir," said Stubbs.

" I say," said Brag as he went along the passage, " who is that chap in the parlour ?""

" I haven't a notion, sir,"" said the landlord. "He came here in the midst of that pelting hail- storm about half an hour ago, on a fine strong horse which is now in the stable, and which seems to have had a pretty sharpish run some- how ; and he ordered a fire to be lighted and some chops to be got ready, and said he would stop an hour or two."

" No servant ?" said Brag.

" No."

" Don't carry bags ?" asked Brag.

" No," rephed Stubbs.

" Seems genteel," said the tallow-chandler ;

JACK BRAG. 37

" no chance of anything wrong ? — plain drest man on a fine horse — eh, don't you understand? straight up, right down — eh, no mistake. No chance of highwaymen now-a-days ?"

" Lor', no, sir," said Stubbs ; " such a thought never entered my head. To be sure, he looked at your two hunters in the stable, and asked Jem who they belonged to."

" What did he say ?"" said Brag.

" To one Squire Brag," said Stubbs ; " a gentleman from London."

" Right, quite right," said Brag : " no oc- casion to tell everybody the truth. And he ad- mired them, did he ?"

" Indeed he did," said Stubbs.

" Oh, all right, no mistake," said Brag, delighted to have unconsciously impressed upon the mind of his " promiscuous acquaint- ance" the character of his pretensions to con- sideration and his right of swagger. " I'll just go and run my eye over his nag before I go into the parlour, and then we shall be on a footing, eh ?"

Stubbs bowed ; and Brag proceeded to change his clothes.

Iti^^^-i

38 JACK BRAG.

While he was performing that operation, the ever-active landlord added another knife and fork to the table already prepared for his other visitor : of which opportunity the stranger availed himself to inquire who the curious little gentleman in the green jacket and white cords might be ; and in answer to his question touch- ing that important subject, he was accurately in- formed by mine host, as far as he knew ; — that he was a gentleman of large fortune from the City, he believed, who was in the habit of hunt- ing with all the hounds in the metropolitan counties : that he usually kept his horses there ; that he was the owner of the two which the gentleman had so much admired ; that that he was a choice spirit, and mixed in very high company ; all of which information the strange g-entleman seemed to receive with con- siderable satisfaction — probably, as Stubbs the landlord thought, because he should feel him- self honoured and gratified by the countenance and society of so distinguished an individual as Brag, and because he inwardly rejoiced at having made a point of showing so much cour-

JACK BRAG. 39

tesy and attention on his first arrival to a gen- tleman of such respectability and importance.

The stranger's inquiries and the landlord's elucidations had scarcely ended, before the vo- latile Cockney made his re-appearance.

" Come, Stubbs," cried he, rubbing his hands as he entered the little sanded parlour, " be alive, my fine fellow ! up with the chops ! no non- sense— sharp 's the word and quick 's the motion, eh ? — straight up, right down, and no mistake."

" They will be ready in two minutes, sir," said the landlord as he quitted the apartment.

" That's the way I manage 'em," said Brag ; " none of your crawlers for me. I dare say you have been waiting ever so long for your feed ; they don't mind strangers — everything is habit, sir, — used to me — know I won't stand upon trifles. I pay ready money, and don't stint — eh ? that 's the Avay I keep 'em all alive. — Are you from town to-day i""

" No," said the stranger ; " I am on my road across the country. I rode farther than I in- tended, and was caught in the last storm."

" Oh," said Brag, beginning to exercise what

40 JACK BRAG.

he considered his tact in ascertaining the calh'ng of his companion ; " you are not going straight along ?"

" No," replied his new friend, " merely taking a canter."

" Blowing away the cobwebs, as my friend Lord Tom Towzle says," said Brag, looking at himself in the miserable glass which sur- mounted the mantel-shelf, adjusting his shirt- collar, and combing out his curls, of which he was as vain as a peacock of his tail. " I never had harder work : pitched right over my little hack's head, trying to show my friend Lord Wagly, the right-earnest way of taking a double fence. To be sure, it was too much for the poor little thing, and it served me right. I was spilt — up again in a minute — all, as quick as Queen Elizabeth. I say, that's

a fine horse of yours in the stable Stir the

fire — hem, — or lend me the poker eh ? — ca- pital nag, I calculate, as the Yankees say .f*"

" Yes," said the stranger, "a fine serviceable animal : I ride pretty heavy, and require some- thing strong to carry me. You have two clever

JACK BRAG. 41

animals in the boxes here ; I assure you I had been admiring them very much before you arrived."

" Yes," said Brag, " nice tits, I flatter my- self: I never had two horses that suited me better. I have — let me see — eight — no, nine- yes, nine — much of a muchness ; four in Leices- tershire, two here, and the rest in London — nursing a bit, that 's my way. I say sport 's sport — never overwork kind animals — don't break their hearts even if you break their backs. So I keep enough to do it easy : for, as I said to Towzle, what 's the use of plenty of money if you don't spend it ? — eh ! The devil take this fellow ! his chops are not ready, though ours are — he ! Did you ever hear that before, — deuced good, eh ? — old, I guess, and no mistake. I'll just give him a reminder,"

Saying which, Brag seized the bell-rope, and gave it so tremendous a jerk, that down it came, bringing with it a cloud of dust, just at the moment that the door opened, and pre- sented to the view of the guests, Stubbs, with the chops, and Rachel his daughter at his heels,

42 JACK BRAG.

bearing a dish of potatoes, and a plate, whereon were deposited two vine leaves of blue ware, filled, the one with gherkins green, the other with walnuts brown.

Rachel was about seventeen, pretty and arch, with a pair of expressively lively black eyes. It was clear that Brag had seen them before, and that Rachel was not altogether insensible of their power; and while the as- siduous Stubbs was regulating the plates and knives and forks at their proper angles on the table, the Nimrod of Cockaigne was slyly pressing the elbow — rather of the reddest — of the amiable Rachel, as she stretched one hand forward towards her unsuspecting pa- rent, in the act of offering him the vegetables wherewith to deck the table. The stranger saw the dexterous manoeuvre of his new com- panion, but appeared to be wholly unconscious of his insinuativeness.

"That's a pretty girl," said Brag after the parent and child had left the room, — " sly as a pussy cat. Dear me ! the tilings one does see in this world ! No matter where one goes, it is all

JACK BRAG. 43

the same ! One has only to look at a girl, or a woman older a deuced deal than that, down she comes ; I don't know how it is, or how you find it, but, by Job," (as Brag always called Jove,) " it's a difficult thing to keep clear of the female sex ; I suppose it's something in one's manner — eh, — don't you think so ? — 'pon my life I don't know."

" Why," said the stranger, " I am not in the habit of generalizing upon such subjects : a woman worthy of being won is not so easily won."

" Oh ! ah !" said Brag ; " you mean tip-top- pers, blue stockings, nobs, and all that kind of thino- : I mean the sex taken what I call col- lectively. What do you drink, eh ? Ale, by Job ! Here, here, just put your head out of the door and call Stubbs; you are nearer than me : I wish I hadn't broken the bell. Call him, — or stay; — no, I'll speak to him, — have up my tap— eh, — don't you see ? "

The volubility and vanity of the Cockney amused as well as surprised the stranger, who, upon Brag's resuming his seat, endeavoured to

44< JACK BRAG.

draw him back — which there was little dif- ficulty in doing — to his old subject, by telling him one of the innumerable bons mots of the celebrated Sophie Arnould, who, when a Brag of her day, in descanting largely upon his suc- cess with a certain demoiselle of the rank and standing of Rachel Stubbs, told her that the affair had made a great noise in the neigh- bourhood, asked whether it were not occa- sioned by the lady's pattens. Brag did not see the application, and went on, as his acquaint- ance with his companion grew, and his familia- rity ripened, to be extremely communicative, most especially upon his own successes in the way of " Don-Juanism."

The sederunt of the companions was con- siderably lengthened by a return of bad wea- ther. The rain and hail again poured down in torrents ; and Brag, who denounced wine in such a place, resolved upon keeping out the cold with some hot mixture. The stranger, who was also weather-bound, seemed not altogether disin- clined to follow his companion's example; and they drew their chairs towards the fire, in order

JACK BRAG. 45

to wait with patience for a brighter sky ; which, as the spring had set in with its accustomed severity, they were not soon certain of seeing.

" I am told," said a lady of rank to the Per- sian Ambassador, who was in this country so many years since, that, for the sake of my female friends, I will not say how many, — " I am told, sir, that in your country they worship the sun." "True, madam," replied the Am- bassador ; " and so they would in yours, if they ever saw him." The hope of catching a glimpse of him on the day of Brag's adventure at the " Duke of Marlborough " was but faint and re- mote : the storm pattered against the casements of the humble apartment which he and his asso- ciate occupied, and Jack was resolved to show that his spirits, however mercurial, were n6t altogether dependant upon the weather.

" Blessing, good temper," said Brag,—" eh ? — makes no difference to me— Hfe is not long enough to be sorry ; clouds or sunshine, on I go, smack, smooth 'cross the country, and no mistake. — As I was saying just now, if I were to write my life and adventures, what a

46 JACK BRAG.

book it would make ! to be sure, one could not publish it ; — compromise so many dear delicious creatures — eh ?"

" But do you find," said the stranger, " this facility of conquest equally general in the higher classes, with whom, as you have already said, you mix ? "

" Equal," exclaimed Brag, emptying at the same moment his first glass of Stubbs's punch, — " the same everywhere. I grant you, the females of the aristocracy are more closely watched ; the eyes of the world are more on them. But, dear me, when they are out of sight — when we are what I call tiled, — all snug and comfortable, and no mistake, — I think the tip-toppers are livelier than the mediums."

" And these females, as you call them," said the stranger, " are they most easily led away by person or manner, or accomplishments.?"

"A little of all," said Jack, running the dumpy fingers of one of his little fat hands through his curls, and pulling up his shirt- collar with the other as usual ; — " manner is everything — that's it, sir; genteel, but bor-

JACK BRAG. 47

dering upon the lively — eh, don't you under- stand? Now there's Lady Fanny Smartly, as nice a horse-woman as you'll see in a sum- mer's day; — why. Lor — just see me lend her my arm to mount ! Her brother looks with won- der — the groom retires with awe — and then she gives me a smile, as much as to say, ' You are a sharp little fellow. Jack !' Well, then in the evening, there I find her all gentle and languishing — you wouldn't think she had ever seen a horse in her life ; — and then she laughs, — and I look, and then she laughs again; and you can't think how one gets on in that way — eh, and no mistake !"

" Lady Fanny Smartly ?" said the stranger ; " I think I have occasionally seen her riding in London."

" Very likely," said Jack ; " but that's not the way to know her. Now there's Mrs. Dallington — a friend of mine, and her sister — they live close up by Grosvenor Square; — I go there almost every day ; they are as opposite as light from dark, — one all sharp, you know — sort of daisy-cutting tit — smack smooth, and no

48 JACK BRAG.

mistake ; — the other, Miss Blanche Englefield, all meek, modest, quiet ; what you call retiring, soft, gentle.""

" A melting beauty ?"" said the stranger.

" No,"" said Jack, colouring ; " not melt- ing ; — a — not that sort of thing, — but — dis- tant, and shy. Why, now with me, she is all free and easy. There I see a couple of men day after day dancing attendance upon these two women, and dying to marry them. In course I shouldn't take any advantage of my friends, as I told Lord Tom — a crack crony of mine — Lord Tom Towzle. I never would — no, I scorn the action, — but it is hard to re- frain."

" Lord Tom Towzle," said the stranger, " is a son of the Duke of Ditchwater, — is he

not r

" He is," said Jack : " I see you know some of their names. Did you ever see Lord Tom ? I always call him Tommy for shortness ; — he is an excellent fellow in his way, — not over re- spectable in money matters — but an uncom- mon good un to go ""cross a country."

JACK BRAG. 49

" Have you seen much of his aunt, Lady Bloomville ?" said the stranger.

" Oh, the old toad !" said Jack ; " a regular scarecrow, — she is what people call a respect- able body — eh ! reads him lectures and all that — he can't bear her ; — we have a great deal of fun there sometimes — we go and what he calls roast her."

" I had always heard," said the stranger, " that she was a remarkably respectable amiable person. I hope you never found her so com- plying as you seem to have found the rest of your fashionable friends."

" I tell you what," said Brag, putting his finger to his nose — " if you knew what / know, you wouldn't be surprised at any- thing."

" She has a brother, hasn't she.'"' said the stranger.

" What, Lady Bloomville .?" asked Jack.

" Yes," replied the stranger.

" Oh, yes. Lord Ilfracombe," said Jack ; " and a queer chap he is too."

VOL. I. D

50 JACK BRAG.

" Is he much at Lady Bloomville's ?" asked the stranger.

" More than we like," replied Brag ; " he is what I call a dull dog, — good man in his way, — plain, and no show, — none of what I call gammon. I say, I must have another jo- rum of this stuff — put your head out and call, will you — eh ! make yourself useful — nothing like sociability, and no mistake — eh !"

The stranger obeyed, and called the waiter ; Rachel appeared, and Jack ordered a replen- ishment of punch, in doing which, having pre- viously expressed his admiration of the wait- ress, he suited the action to the word, and then resumed.

" Old Ilfracombe is a queer one," said he, " a bore, — won't sit after dinner. Now, as I say to Lord Tom, that is a fault of the young ones ; — no conversation, — no nothing now — up go the ladies, and then comes ' Will anybody have any more wine, or shall we have coffee ?' and up we go after them, — no opportunity for what somebody calls the feast of reason and the

JACK BRAG. 51

flow of soul, or, as I read it, ' flow of bowl,' —eh ! "

" So then," said the stranger, " this Lord Ilfracombe is what may be called a wet blanket ! — he doesn't look like one of the Kill-joys."

" Do you think not ?" said Jack. " I sup- pose you have only seen him by chance, at some public dinner, or somewhere where smiles are always ready. If you knew him as well as I and Lord Tom do, you would set him down for as great a bore as ever lived."

" And is Lord Tom, as you call him," said the stranger, " in love with either of the ladies you have mentioned to me ?"

" Not a bit," said Jack. " Tommy and I — or rather, I might say, I and Tommy, take a different course, — butterflies, bees, — eh ! — don't you see.? — rove and sip — and no mistake. No, I think it would be an injus- tice in either of us to marry. But, there are two very respectable men dangling — you under- stand what I mean."

d2

52 JACK BRAG.

" Perfectly," said the stranger.

" But," said Brag, " it is painful to see it — eh ! — Lord bless your heart — however — Oh ! here is my second glass — put it down , Rachel, — here — come round — this way, — don't be frightened, the gentleman won't eat you."

Rachel did as she was bid, but it was quite clear by the expression of her pretty counten- ance as she left the room, that she did not think quite so much of Brag as Brag thought of himself."

" If you," said Brag, " had opportunities as I have of seeing the best society, — what I call skimming the cream, you would be in the secret ; but without seeing it, as I said before, there's no believing it — eh !"

" I am sure you are right," said the stran- ger. " I think Lord Ilfracombe has a son, hasn't he ?"

" To be sure he has," said Brag, " Lord Dawlish, — and a nice chap he is too ; he mar- ried a Miss Linton, the daughter of a country gentleman in my lord's neighbourhood. I know all the facts from Lord Tommy. She is

JACK BRAG. 53

like a doll in a toy-shop window — waxy and winky-eyed — eh! You understand — money — the father sold the child to buy the title, and a pretty swop too. Lord bless you ! they live like cat and dog. I can't bear her — mawkish — ell ! Don't you take some more of this mix- ture ?"

" Not yet," said the stranger. " And does Lord Dawlish mix much in your sports .?"

" Why now," said Jack, " before you carry this on too far, I do think you ought to tell me why you ask. I don't think it fair, living with these people as I do, what you call hand-in glove, and all that, to let out ; you may, perhaps, have an interest in knowing particulars. I am sure you won't be offended, but I take it that you are in the mercantile line, and what people in the city call travelling on your own bottom — you want to know where credit may and v/here it mayn't be given — eh ? I don't think I ought to commit my friends, old cocky — eh ! all right and no mistake — don't you think so .'^"

" Certainly." said the stranger ; " I didn't know that Lord Dawlish ivas a friend of yours."

54 JACK BRAG.

(C

The whole clique," said Brag, looking very cunning ; " and I can tell you this — they know I am rich, eh ! — all snug, smug, and no mis- take."

" Well," said the stranger, " I am much obliged for the mixture of confidence in me, and the consideration of them, which regulates your communications; — but I suppose old Ilfra- combe himself is a steady goer ?"

" Umph !" said Jack, " pretty well — six o"" one side and half-a-dozen of the other— much of a muchness — you understand, eh ! — all out- side— plating, as I call it."

Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Stubbs, who announced that Mr. Brag's groom had just arrived from Lon- don, on the top of the coach, which had set him down at the corner of the cross road.

" Let him come in," said Brag, with an air of the most exalted dignity.

The lad made his appearance, dripping, like Niobe, all tears.

" Well, what made you so late.'*" said Brag.

JACK BRAG. 55

" Couldn't git down afore, sir,*" said the lad.

" Wei!," said his master, " go get yourself something to eat, and see to the horses."

" I wanted to say a word about the horses, sir, — please," said the lad.

"Well," said Brag, "you may say what you have to say ; you are not afraid of that stranger, I suppose."

" No, sir," said the boy, " Pm not afraid o' anybody, but I didn't know I was to say what I had to say, out."

" Say," said Jack, waving his half-emptied tumbler over his head — " ' Say on,*" as the chap at the theatre says."

" Mr. Figgs," said the boy, " wishes to know whether you want both them 'ere horses as is here any longer this week, or if one will do, as he has an opportunity of letting one or both on 'em to gemmen as pays ready money ; and if so be you keeps 'em both, you'll be pleased to send up the stumpy by to-niglit's post."

" Ha, ha, ha !" said Brag, his cheeks

56 ' JACK BRAG.

tvirning as white as chalk, his hair seeming to uncurl, and his whole countenance assum- ing the appearance of a detected pickpocket — " how good ! — how deuced good, eh ! Ha, ha, — what ! my own horses !"

" Not your own horses, sir,'"* said the boy, " they are his horses, you know, sir, and — ^

"Hold your tongue, sir," said Brag; " I think I ought to know whose horses they are better than he; — get out, — go and look after the nags — before you get anything to eat — and I will come out to you presently."

Of all the curs unhung, there is none so awfully contemptible as a drivelling braggart. The wretched cockney seemed to quail before his associate, whom, as we know, he imagined to be either a rider to some respectable house in the button line, or a small dealer travelling, as he called it, " on his own bottom." He watched the glance of the eye of this man, whom he had before despised and bullied, to see what im- pression the detection of his miserable assump- tions had made upon him ; but the stranger, who had his own business to attend to, and

JACK BRAG. 57

who seemed fully occupied by his own thoughts, evinced no alteration either in look or manner when he heard his contemptible companion ex- posed by the stable-keeper's menial. Why he was not much affected by this denouement, we may perhaps shortly discover.

" What fools servants are !" said Jack, when he could speak — stirring up a bit of lemon-peel from the bottom of his glass, and keeping his eyes steadily fixed upon the object and opera- tion during the utterance of his remark.

What the stranger thought of masters, was not to be collected from either his words or his looks.

" Figgs is a fool too," said Brag, when he had rallied ; " I wonder what he means."

The stranger, who merely recollected the history of his companion's stud, all elaborately detailed, did not by any means exert himself to elucidate the mysteries of the liveryman's sta- bles. He was perfectly satisfied with the affair as it stood, and there an end.

" I believe," said Brag, breaking what ap- peared a most uncomfortable silence, and which,

d5

58 JACK BRAG.

as pretenders invariably do, he fancied arose from a conviction in the other gentleman's mind that he was a " humbug," — " I believe that these fellows try to worry one into buy- ing, by such tricks as these : however, I flatter myself I am pretty well known about London, and if I have any interest with the Master of the horse, not one of Figgs's animals sets foot into the Royal stables, — there I have an influence."

The stranger merely looked, and finished his one glass of Stubbs's particular, to Brag's two ; Avhich one he had been persuaded to im- bibe upon the very just principle of repelling external cold by internal warmth. It was clear that the cockney had been hit hard by the stupidity of his boy, as he called him — who, in fact, was not his ; and odd enough to say, however pleased he might have been to escape anything like a cross-examination from his companion, he was rather vexed than not, that the said companion did not appear to take suf- ficient interest in his proceedings to inquire any farther into particulars.

JACK BRAG. 59

*' The weather does not seem to clear up,"" said the stranger, walking towards the window ; " I am not quite sure what is best to be done."

" As for me," said Brag, " I shall be a fix- ture for the night, if it holds on so badly.""

" I must get home by dinner-time," said the stranger.

"Oh!" said Brag, "then this is not your dinner."

" No," said the stranger, " I believe in point of fact it ^5, but nominally it is not ; I have fif- teen miles to ride before I get home. I suppose one might on an emergency get a chaise here ?"

" Not here," said Brag ; " I am always obliged, when I want horses, to send doAvn to the George, — two miles from this ; — but that makes no difference, I'll tell my boy to run down if you want them : — are you going towards town .?"

" No," said the stranger, and stranger he was in those parts, " my course is from Lon- don."

" Eh ! oh !" said Brag, evidently desirous of finding out his associate's pursuits. " I shall

60 JACK BRAG.

cobble up here for the night, I think ; — I dare say Rachel will make my tea for me, and I shall be uncommon comfortable, and no mistake. I like the — what do the French call it? — the ' despipere in poco,' or something of that sort, as Lord Tommy says ; — so here I stop. I have nothing to do, no business, no call, no tie, except that unhappy Mrs. — did I tell you her name ? — yes I did, — Mrs. Dallington and her sister Blanche. They must wait — can't ride through the rain for them, eh !"

At this moment a remarkably neat, well ap- pointed travelling carriage, drawn by four bright bays, preceded by an outrider, and in the rum- ble of which were two strapping servants, drove up to the door of the small ostelry — the steeds all thorough bred, were foaming and champing the bit, and the party within evidently in high spirits. The halt was called just to wash out the mouths of the horses, which were, as it ap- peared, making a long stage.

" I say," said Brag, " these are somebodies : — what nags ! — did you ever see such a turn out ;— thafs what I call going it — straight up.

JACK BRAG. 61

right clown, and no mistake. Let''s just go out and have a look at 'em."

Brag led the way — the stranger implicitly followed ; the moment he exhibited his person by the side of the cockney, a shout of surprise and delight echoed from the carriage.

" So, here you are !" cried the youngest of the parti carre. " What have you been doing here.?"

" Doing !" said the stranger ; " why you don't expect a man to ride to an archery meet- ins through a torrent !"

*' My dear love," said a lady in the carriage, " are you quite sure you have not got wet .''■"

" Not the least," said the stranger ; " for I took the precaution of halting here, and getting some luncheon in very agreeable society. But, perhaps, you will let me in turn inquire why you have taken this road."

" Partly, I believe," said a young man who turned out to be the stranger's son, " by mis- take,— the weather was so desperate that the whole affair was a coup manque, and we were glad enough to scramble away as well as we

62 JACK BRAG.

could ; but, however, you will now come with us ; they say it is an ill wind that blows nobody good."

" You may rely upon my housing myself in the carriage," said the stranger, " even at the hazard of crowding you. Harrison, stay behind, and bring home my horse in the course of the evening, and pay my bill here; don't hurry back, for I rode rather hard in coming."

The ladies seemed delighted at the ac- quisition which they had made to their party " inside," and the stranger, with his foot on the step of the carriage, took off his hat and made a low bow to Brag, who stood looking on in a state of amaze and wonderment aris- ing from the extraordinary fact, that anybody who really lived in the society of which he was permitted to catch occasional glimpses, could seriously sit down and enjoy mutton chops in a small alehouse, without disclosing liis rank or talking of his connexions.

The carriage drove off, — splashed a little of the mud upon Brag''s delicate nose, and left, according to the stranger's directions, one

JACK BRAG. 63

of the servants behind, who upon scanning the figure of the cockney sportsman, turned away from him with an air of dignity which his master had never assumed ; and whose re- markably smart leathers and tops were so much better "got up'' than Brag's ever were, (although when he wore leathers he always devoted a certain portion of the morning to his own personal care of them,) that the un- happy creature cowered before the menial of the man, whom because he was plainly dressed, and assumed nothing in his manner, he had treated as if he were an inferior.

" I say, sir," said Brag to the man as he was walking towards the stable, " may 1 ask who the gentleman is, who stepped into that carriage, and has left you to take home his liorse ?"

"That's mxj lord," said Harrison, so was the man named.

" And what lord may he be .? " said Brag.

" Don't you know my lord, sir.?" said Harri- son ; " I thought everybody knew him, — Lord Ilfracombe. That 's my Lady, and his son Lord

64- JACK BRAG.

Dawlish, and Lady Dawlish, and I^ady Bloom- ville, in the carriage/'

" Indeed ! -five insides!" said Brag: "and who was the young lady with the veil ?"

" Lady Fanny Smartly," said the man, and passed on to look after his lord's horse.

Jack stood as if petrified : he felt his ears tin- gle, his knees shake, — the mingled impudence and folly of his conduct came full upon him, like a double-headed shot. Here were all his inti- mate friends whom he had never seen before, conjured up, as it were, to ruin him in the estimation of the head of the family, whom he had denounced to himself as a queer one, a bore, a kill-joy, and a wet blanket. He had not the power to stir, nor would he have moved from the place where he stood, with his eyes swimming and his head whirling, if the stable- boy from Figgs's had not just begged him to make up his mind as to the horse he would keep.

Jack, for a minute roused to a sense of his absurdity, gave his answer, and retired to the house ; where having in due time recovered the

JACK BRAG. 65

spirits or callousness which generally upheld him, he rang for some tea, — a beverage in which the subjects of Cockaigne delight, and which was in the course of half-an-hour brought him by a dirty red-headed boy; Rachel Stubbs hav- ing gone over to her aunt's, on purpose to get out of the way of his nasty impertinences.

66 JACK BRAG.

CHAPTER III.

Brag's feelings at the period of this an- nouncement were by no means of the most agreeable character. It was quite certain that the scene which had just been enacted by the noble lord and himself would furnish materials for a historiette in his lordship's circle, whence it would infallibly descend to the sphere of his own actions, as fashions gradually sink from the duchess to the dowdy, until, as extremes meet, they become extinct from their universality.

Then, for the Lothario to be slighted — avoided — cut by the waiting-girl of a small inn, who ought to have been prouder than a peacock at having attracted his eyes : alto- gether Jack was ill at ease, and fell to rumi- nating upon his present not brilliant pro- spects, until he fell asleep.

JACK BRAG. 67

Not SO his mother. She had pondered the words her son had spoken : she felt that his recommendation to take unto herself a second husband, although she had passed several years of widowhood, was not altogether unreasonable, since the career which he appeared determined to pursue, let it terminate as it might, was not very likely to end in a steady settle-down to business, and since, as everybody allows, a " lone woman" in trade is liable to be imposed upon.

It is odd enough, that an idea once formed in a mind where it never had place before, becomes the leading subject of thought and consideration. Mrs. Brag had never dreamt of a second marriage ; and it is but fair to say, that none of her male, middle-aged, marrying acquaintance had ever, by word or deed, led her to moot the question. It was reserved for her son to fire the train ; and from the moment it was ignited, Mrs. Brag became a different woman. She bestowed extra care upon her frill and her front ; had the one plaited, and the other curled, with peculiar pains ; took to the

68 JACK BRAG.

wearing of coloured ribands ; looked into the shop whenever she heard the sound of voices ; and, in short, gave herself more airs than she had ever thought of assuming for many years before.

Never, hoAvever, had she been driven into what may be called a resolution upon the sub- ject, until the morning upon which this little history opens. Johnny had often suggested the measure, and she had at first repelled the idea, out of respect to the departed Mr. B. ; at last, she listened more complacently ; then, as I have just said, she occupied herself in putting the scheme in execution practically ; and after that morning, finding that all solicitations to John in regard of steadiness must prove fruit- less, she came to a resolution of obliging her darling boy, of whom she might justly have said —

" Johnny, with all thy faults, I love thee still/'

and of making herself more comfortable at home. How to compass the affair then became her only consideration ; for the reader ought to know, that although to the very last she

JACK BRAG. 69

maintained her profession of disinclination for the step, she had, in fact, determined upon taking it. The way she went to work will hereafter be developed.

The volatile John, himself, arose on the morning of his intended steeple-chase, little refreshed from the sort of feverish night's rest he had enjoyed — if enjoyment it might be called. He could not rally from the effects of his self-exposure, which affected him the more strongly, as he began to anticipate (since it was evident that they were staying somewhere in the neighbourhood) the appearance of some of the branches of the noble family of Ilfracombe to witness what men of desperate expedients consider " fine sport." What should he do if this very Lord Dawlish were to join the field, attended perhaps by Lady Fanny Smartly, or the earl himself.? Every word that he had uttered the previous night would, of course, be repeated ; and if not actually kicked or horse- whipped by the indignant viscount, in revenge for the description he had given of his father and his family, even Lord Tom Towzle himself.

70 JACK BRAG.

who was his main-stay, might join in the general execration of the pretender; the more especially as Lord Tom had at various times borrowed sundry sums of Brag''s " loose cash," and, hav- ing been of late refused unlimited access to his purse, might perhaps not be particularly sorry to find a cause for breaking off his acquaint- ance with him.

The day however came, and Brag having breakfasted, began to rally ; and resolving to put the best face upon the affair, he mounted the horse he kept, and proceeded to the scene of action, casting his eyes, it must be admitted, in every direction, in dread of encountering his friend of the preceding afternoon. Nothing of the sort, however, occurred to annihilate him ; and when he reached the inn at which the sportsmen were to rendezvous, and found Lord Tom and his associates just the same as usual, — all gay, lively, and warm in their reception, — he felt reassured, and in less than an hour had forgot- ten, or resolved not to remember, anything about his self-exposure to the noble lord.

The steeple-chase took place according to

JACK BRAG. 71

notice ; and at its conclusion Lord Tom, assist- ed by Brag, furnished a report of it for the " Sporting Intelligence" of the London papers, in the following words : —

" This event came off yesterday to the entire gratification of the numerous company who were present.

" The course had been marked out on the previous day by Lord Wagley, Lord Thomas Towzle, and Mr. Brag, who judiciously select- ed a stiff line of country, including thirty-four leaps and three brooks, best calculated to try the mettle of both horses and riders. The winning-post was between two flags placed in a field belonging to Mr. Brag, who was also appointed umpire. Five horses started —

" Mr. Tagrag's ' Washball ' . . . Owner.

Capt. Snobb's ' Beggarboy ' . . . Owner.

Sir Frederick Flapper's 'Stumpy' . Mr. Martingale.

Mr. Smith's * Tommy ' .... Owner.

Colonel Ball's 'Blunderbuss' . . Mr. Flint.

" They all went off at a slashing pace. * Tom- my' refused the second leap, and threw his

72. JACK BRAG.

rider over his head, and, falling backwards over the bank, broke his back, and died in a few minutes. ' Washball' was also unlucky in trying to jump a brook, which her rider did not know was fordable twenty yards lower down : she slipped her shoulder, and was obliged to be shot immediately after the race. We are sorry to add, that Mr. Tagrag, who rode her, unfor- tunately pitched upon the back of his neck, and severely injured his spine. He lies at the ' Full Moon' at Wigglesford, without hopes of recovery.

" After these little mishaps, the play was made entirely by ' Beggarboy' and ' Stumpy j"* ' Blunderbuss' having knocked up after the first two miles and a half, and being run to a dead stand in the middle of a ploughed field, whence neither flogging nor spurring could move him : in fact, the shine was taken out of him, and it became a clear case of * no go.'

" 'Beggarboy' and ' Stumpy' had had enough of it ; and when they reached the last fence, entered the winning-field nearly neck-and- neck. ' Stumpy' tumbled into the ditch, and

JACK BRAG. 73

Captain Snobbs worked * Beggarboy' through the flags in very fine style. ' Stumpy' was con- siderably damaged by the last fall, which is a pity, inasmuch as he is about one of the best horses in this part of the country.

" The race was for ten sovereigns each, and was run in an incredibly short space of time. The numerous company assembled were highly delighted Avith the spirit-stirring sport, and, after the chase, proceeded to a field at the back of the ' Full Moon,' to see the ties shot off of the great pigeon match between Mr. Slack and Mr. Nibbs, for a silver jug and cover.

" The name of Nibbs in itself was sufficient to create an unusual interest, and the ground was crowded with amateurs. The terms were, twenty-one yards at twenty-one birds — charge limited to two ounces. Betting, three to one the winner killed eighteen — five to four on Nibbs. They both went in, sure of doing the trick ; but after Slack and Nibbs had each killed twelve birds, Nibbs had it all his own way, and won the jug by five birds, killing nineteen to Slack's fourteen ; thus winning the

VOL. I. E

74 JACK BRAG.

by-bets of three to one. Several other matches came off, and about a hundred and fifty pigeons were knocked over.

" Nothing could exceed the gaiety of the scene. The weather was remarkably fine, and a proportion of the beauties who had honoured the race with their presence, were witnesses of the cheering sport. An old woman standing just out- side the enclosure, received a whole charge of shot in her face, which is likely to cost her the sight of one eye at least ; and a silly boy, who imprudently attempted to knock down one of the winged birds which was falling out of bounds, was badly wounded in the chest and throat. He was immediately attended to by the surgeon of the place, who extracted thirty-six shots from different parts of his person, and he was then forwarded in an easy cart to the county hospital. We hope these accidents will act as cautions to other equally inconsiderate indivi- duals.

"At the conclusion of the sports an admi- rable cold collation was served up at the ' Full Moon,' in Bunks's best style. The evening

JACK BRAG. 75

passed off in the most delightfully convivial manner, and arrangements were made for a renewal of the exhilarating diversion of the day, on Thursday next, when a still more numerous assemblage is anticipated."

This animated description, as a matter of course, figured in the principal journals of the following morning, Brag having succeeded in the interpolation of three or four words, conveying to himself a field, and, by implication, a much more extensive estate, in a part of the country where he did not possess even so much as call- ed him master at his " little place in Surrey." The only drawback to his happiness, however, upon this occasion, was a visit, three days after the appearance of the intelligence, from the farmer to whom the field actually did belong, who gave him to understand that he had di- rected his attorney to prosecute the trespassers, who without his permission had ploughed up his land at a season when it did not require tillage; and having ascertained by the news- papers that the whole arrangements had de- volved upon Mr. Brag, the attorney thought it

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76 JACK BRAG.

most advisable to pounce upon him in the first instance.

This visit, and the intelhgence his visitor conveyed to him, were anything but agreeable to the little man, whose feelings upon the matter were in no degree tranquillized by the conviction that his difficulties and responsibi- lity were fastened upon him, because he could not refrain from the indulgence of his besettinff propensity, in making himself not only the hero of the affair, but the owner of the ground over which it had been decided.

The next race, however, which Mr. Brag was destined to run, was away from the lawyer, and accordingly, with prudence, which in animals unclothed, we designate instinct, but which in cases like that of Johnny we by courtesy call reason, our hero quitted his head quarters at the Duke's Head, and proceeded to town per stage- coach ; the second message from Mr. Figgs, with regard to the horses, having been accom- panied with a peremptory demand that they might both be sent back.

Brag returned to town considerably damaged,

JACK BRAG.

7t

and however bold he might be in assuming consequence, and claiming friendships, never did human being more clearly evince by his personal appearance the workings of what served him for mind, than he ; a blow like that which he had just received from the farmer"'s announce- ment completely upset him, and in five minutes the sprightly, pert, impudent-looking wagling was metamorphosed into a pale, downcast, mi- serable victim ; and in a plight thus indicative of defeat, he reached the metropolis, quite undecided how to dispose of himself for the afternoon.

While he is in this state of suspense let us look for one moment at those over whose desti- nies he almost unconsciously possessed a most extraordinary influence. Sir Charles Lydiard, whose sensitiveness had once been disturbed, and whose shyness had been excited by Rush- ton's observations upon the manner in which Brag was received at Mrs. Dallington's, could not get rid of the impression which he had at first so hesitatingly received. None who have not felt jealousy — and, since there never can be

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love without it, who has not ? — can imagine the pains which a patient once infected with the disease, the jaundice of the mind, incessantly takes to keep up its virulence. It so happened, that Sir Charles had never seen Brag since his conversation with Rushton, and therefore had no opportunity of watching the " telegraph" of which they had upon that occasion spoken ; but upon a reference to all that had passed, he managed to combine a thousand " trifles light as air," an infinity of nothings, the considera- tion of which produced an increased exhibition of coldness and reserve during his next two or three calls at the widow's.

Mrs. Dallington saw this accession of frigid- ity, and without exactly hitting upon its true cause, did certainly " telegraph "" Blanche into an observance of it. This new glance gave new grounds for doubts and apprehensions, and the worthy baronet passed four miserable hours in the boudoir of the woman he best loved in the world, if he had but known it, devoutly wishing to make his escape, but fearing to move lest an eclaircissement should take place.

JACJS- BRAG. 79

Sir Charles felt more embarrassed from the fact that he had not seen his aversion during his last one or two visits ; and because he was extremely anxious to know the cause of an ab- sence on his part longer than usual ; and be- cause, above all, he could not induce himself to make the smallest inquiry after him. Other men called, joined in the conversation, and re- lieved Sir Charles from the restraint under which the dread of a serious explanation kept him whenever the temporary absence of Blanche re- duced the circle to a teie-a-ttte; but the appear- ance of none of those worried or annoyed him. Mrs. Dallington's manner, kind to all, was in no degree particular to any one of them ; but certainly, now that Rushton had concurred with him in his views upon the subject, he did think that Brag was very differently treated by both ladies. Still, he could not descend to touch upon the topic ; and after a feverish sitting on the third morning after Brag's de- parture. Sir Charles left the widow''s to dress for dinner, pleading an engagement which he had not, for declining an invitation from her

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and her sister to dine with them, which he would have been, if he could have commanded his feelings, too happy to accept.

Rushton, who had been there, but was also absent in the evening, became more actively employed in Brag's business than his cold and calculating colleague. In passing Grosvenor Street he encountered Brag proceeding to visit his door-plate and inquire for letters, just arrived from the Duke of Marlborough, having been let out of the coach (in the inside of which he travelled to avoid the farmer's lawyer) at the corner of a back street in the Edgeware Road, so as not to be detected in his descent; by which ingenious device, and the exhibition of a whip in his hand and a pair of spurs on his heels, the pretender let it be inferred that he had ridden up to town upon one of the nine horses, which did not belong to him.

Rushton welcomed liis friend to London ; and anxious to ascertain, if he could, whether he proposed making an evening visit to Mrs. Dallington's, joined him in his walk down the street.

JACK BRAG. 81

" Just returned ?" said Rushton.

"■ This minute dismounted,"" said Brag; "ca- pital sport ; — never better ! — all smack smooth, and no mistake. Killed two horses outright, and one man, I fancy ; however, he was well picked up, and the doctor has got him in charge."

" Much company ?" said Rushton.

" Lots of people," answered Brag, who, unable to repress that which was certainly true, however dangerous the allusion to the family might be elsewhere ; " I myself did not stay at Wigglesford, I had rooms at the inn where my horses stand. All quiet, snug ; no nonsense; — civil people; good landlord; pretty daughter, eh ! — you understand — no mistake !"

" Were you alone, then .''" said Rushton.

" Not altogether," said Brag ; " old Ilfra- comb dined with me. He was going to an archery-meeting to join his family. Weather turned out bad ; took part of my little dinner ; — humble fare — mere soup, fish, cutlet and capon. The rest of the party joined us after

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82 JACK BRAG.

dinner. Dawlish and his wife, and Lady Sarah Smartly — they did not get out of the carriage — so I packed him off, and returned to finish my claret, and wind up the evening in mi/ way, eh ?""

" Are you going to the widow's this even- ing ?" said Rushton.

"Not certain," said Brag: "I'm rather tired, and more than half engaged. How is Sir Charles ? Cold chap, that, eh ? Don't you think so ?"

" Why," said Rushton, " a trifle upsets him. He is the most delicate-minded man I ever met with : an expression, a word, a look affects him in a way one could scarcely imagine."

" Proud, eh ?" said Brag. " Distant, eh ?"

" No," replied Rushton. " There is a cold- ness in his manner, I admit ; and those who do not know him may fancy this proceeds from hauteur; but the fact is, that however much he may warm in the course of the evening, he falls back to his original state of chilliness the next morning, and requires a new process to degeier

JACK BRAG. 83

him. He is not therefore popular, but, in truth, his apparent coldness has its origin in diffidence and a distrust of himself."

" Oh ! that 's diffidence, is it ?" said Brag. " I can't say I quite understand that : I thought it was pride — but for that, in course I don't care one farthing, and no mistake."

It all at once struck Rushton (Sir Charles hav- ing naturally, although unexpectedly, become the subject of their conversation) that the pre- sent would be a favourable opportunity of sounding (the water not being very deep) the views and intentions of his communicative friend.

" Why," said he, " to tell you the truth, Brag, I do not think 2/ou a fair judge of Sir Charles. I have my quarrels with him upon different shades of feeling ; but you — ^oii are totally different."

" I don't see that," said Brag.^ " It's all one to me, you know. I don't care a fig, as I say to Lord Tom : take me as I am, eh ! — all right up, straight down, no mis-

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take. I quite agree with you in differing with him; but I don't see how my case differs from yours.'"

" Ah !" said Rushton, " there it is : it is in that difference all the difference lies.''''

" How d'ye mean ?" said Brag.

" He is afraid of you,"" replied his compa- nion.

" Afraid of me /" said Brag, pulling up his shirt collar, " that ""s too good."

" You are too civil by half to the widow,"" said Rushton.

" Mer

" Yes,"" said Rushton, " and what is even more to the purpose, he thinks she is too civil by half to you."

" Upon your honour !"" said Brag, in an ecstasy of delight — ^'afraid of me! Come, come — eh ! — that 's too good !"

" Not a bit too good," said Rushton. " I tell you what it is — I '11 be candid with you — I am just as much afraid of you myself."

" You, Rushton !" said Brag.

" Yes, more than Sir Charles is," replied

JACK BRAG. 85

Rushton. " Recollect now — remember — think how you go on with Blanch Englefield — a being all shyness and reserve with everybody else, is with you, animated and evidently inte- rested in your conversation."

" You don't mean that you are afraid of me. too," said Brag, fully convinced of the entire seriousness of the conversation, which after all contained more of real apprehension than Rushton would have willingly had him know. " I certainly have a way, eh ! — I don't know what it is — it cannot be person — manner, I suppose. I am always ready to talk, eh ! The tongue is the very deuce in a sharp fel- low's head — a little repartee, and all that, eh ! — small-talk, and a good deal of it — that's it."

" Clearly," said Rushton.

" The women like little parties,'" said Brag — "fetes— water excursions — dejeuners, and all that. Then they get so good-humoured ; and the champagne — and the return — and the moonlight — and the music, and all that.''''

" You have not yet opened your battery in that line," said Rushton.

86 JACK BRAG.

" Waiting for weather," said Brag. " I '11 show you the way to do that sort of thing as soon as summer is well in, eh ! — and then, I think, you tvill have the heart-ache.""

" Are you, then, so general a lover.''" said Rushton. " Will neither content your love of conquest ? Must you win both .?"

" Oh ! come," said Brag, putting his finger to his nose, and winking, " you are playing your tricks — what do thej/ care for me ?"

" That remains to be seen," said Rushton. " My firm belief is, that you may obtain the hand of either of them ; and my opinion, more- over, is, that if you have not serious inten- tions that way, as far as one of them is con- cerned, you do an injustice to both, by acting towards them as you do."

" Upon your life !" said Jack — " you are serious.''"

" Perfectly," said Rushton ; " however, this is entirely between ourselves : and whatever step you take, let me just mention, that the widow is much the more lively companion of the two, and has rather the better fortune ; so

JACK BRAG. 87

turn your basilisk eyes towards her, and leave the poor silent, sighing Blanche for me. Adieu ! Here we are at your door — you are at home. Do me the favour to remember what I have said, and as you are great be merciful."

Saying which, Rush ton quitted his friend, who was completely overset by the announce- ment of the opinion he had just heard deli- vered. It took very little to convince him of his power over what he called the " female sex," and he had certainly for some time felt very much inclined to coincide with Rushton in his views upon this particular point. But then came the question — Which of the prizes should he take ? — which of the lovers should he immolate ? Lydiard, he was assured, was too cold and odd to charm the widow, and Rush- ton too violent and jealous to be agreeable as a husband to Blanche. The notion once put into his head, operated there like that with which he had a short time before possessed his respectable mother on a similar subject, and all that now re- mained for him to do was to make up his mind for a decision. That he did decide, the reader

88 JACK BRAG.

is destined soon to see; how, for the present, must remain a secret.

There certainly is one part of the affair which did not make itself evident to him. Blinded by his vanity, he did not perceive that the whole object Rushton had in view in ac- knowledging his own fears, which he really fan- cied had some foundation, and in encouraging his pretensions, was the expulsion of the little man altogether; for although he had succeeded in awakening Sir Charles's suspicions, and Sir Charles had been equally fortunate in arousing /lis, and that he had moreover discovered, by Brag's manner and admission, that the widow was, at least of the two, the present object of his admiration, he felt perfectly satisfied that he would receive his congee the very hour in which he made a formal declaration, and thus, without appearing in the business, he should be relieved from all. farther apprehensions from his pre- sence, while the affair of his expulsion would, in fact, be that of Lydiard and the widow.

Brag, however, was about to be entangled in another little business, which promised to inter-

JACK BRAG. 89

fere with the immediate execution of his plan. He had resolved upon repairing to his " little place in Surrey," in order to look after certain affairs which were essential to the production of the means for " carrying on the war," and afterwards proposed, at least when it should be sufficiently dark for the purpose — to visit his mother, who, wisely enough, took care of the shop as far as her abilities would permit her to watch one or two clerks and shopmen, who un- doubtedly, seeing that she was a " lone woman,'''' did every day that, of which, in her own phrase, she was so much afraid " put upon her ;" which phrase, rendered into plain English, means, cheat her out of her property when- ever they were able.

As our story expands, it may be necessary here to observe, that Mrs. Brag had a daugh- ter, the sister of John, who had never been a fa- vourite with her father. People said her temper was bad : some people said one thing, and other people, as they will do, said other things : cer- tain it is, that home was no home for her. And after a sort of half-and-half education at a sub-

90 JACK BRAG.

urban boarding-school, where she learned astro- nomy, the mathematics, netting, knitting, knot- ting, the use of the globes, dancing, geometry, drawing, embroidery, rug-working, purse-mak- ing, flower-painting, botany, singing, geology, plain needle-work, natural history, stencilling, Italian, French, Spahish, and German, the harp, guitar, piano-forte, tambourine, and triangle, together with many other sciences and accom- plishments, " too numerous for the brief space of an advertisement," she early in life married hastily, and clandestinely, a gentleman in the army of the name of Brown. His military duties had since called him to India, where his regi- ment had now been for several years. Of him or his sister, Jack seldom spoke, and, when he did, coldly referred to her husband as the ma- jor. Any little uneasiness which her father had evinced about the marriage at the period at which it occurred, had been decently buried in oblivion by the fond mother and her son, who, whatever other feelings might have prompted him to this acquiescence in the affair, it could not be doubted was in a considerable degree

JACK BRAG. 91

acted upon by a desire to say nothing whatever about it.

There was, however, a person for whom, in earlier life, and before the doting fondness of his sire had spoiled him, he did feel as deep an interest as such a mind as his was capable of — this was no other than the major's sister, Miss Brown — Anne christened, but called familiarly in those times Nancy Brown. It does not sound romantic by way of a name, but what is in a name ?

At the time of Brag's acquaintance with her, she was a lovely girl just eighteen, fair as the lily and fresh as the rose. Her mo- ther was an humble personage, no better, let it be understood, than a dress-maker, to whom this daughter was assistant ; for, lest we should ourselves fall into the errors of which Brag was guilty, it may be as well to ob- serve, that the military functionary with whom Kitty became enamoured, and who had the honour of leading her to the Hymeneal altar without her father's consent, derived his rank of major from Brag himself; in giving him

92 JACK BRAG.

which brevet he felt himself probably jus- tified, inasmuch as it was derived from a mere abbreviation of his real title. Brown was serjeant-major in the regiment to which he be- longed ; but the omission of one half of his official denomination was adopted very early by Jack, with, it must be confessed, the full ac- quiescence of his father, who never could think of the misbehaviour of Kitty in making such a match, with common patience.

When his father died, Johnny, as will be seen hereafter, became so fine a gentleman, that he never paid the least further attention either to Nancy Brown or the promises he had so earnestly made her; judge, then, the sur- prise and mortification which overwhelmed the vain and foolish creature when his mother, after the usual greetings upon his arrival at home, placed in his hands a letter from his poor suffering victim.

To describe the face or the feelings of Brag Avhen this appeal from his once dear Anne was handed to him by his respected parent, (who was not entirely aware of the real state of the

JACK BRAG. 93

case, but believed the communication, in all probability, to have some reference to her daughter, whom she in her heart had, with a mo- ther's feelings, forgiven,) would be impossible. To come from a question of supplanting Sir Charles Lydiard in the good graces of Mrs. Dallington, to a letter from Nancy Brown of Walworth, was indeed a sinking in the sublime. He turned pale, as usual ; then flushed ; then his lips quivered, and his eyes opened ; and then, without saying one syllable, he thrust the paper unopened into his pocket, where it shall remain until a new chapter gives us space for its perusal.

94 JACK BRAG.

CHAPTER IV.

The letter which Jack, having hastily glanced at the superscription, thrust out of sight, fol= lows.

" Walworth, Tuesday. " Dear John,

" I hope you will not be angry with me for

writing to-day. You remember what day it is.''

I think I need not remind you that it is your

poor Anne's birthday. For three or four years

after Katharine's marriage with George, and

their departure for the Indies, you used to write

to me on this day, but you afterwards left off

doing so ; and I should not perhaps have broken

in upon you now if the anniversary had been

as bright and as cheering as it once used to be.

No, my dear John, ' hope deferred maketh the

heart sick ;' and although I have by this time

JACK BRAG. 95

learned to give up all expectation of your ful- filling your promises made to me before your father's death, 1 neither have forgotten my affection for you^ nor mean to upbraid you with your forgetfulness of me.

'•' When we were so much together, and when you said you could be happy with nobody else, and told me of your dread of your father's anger, which he had indeed shown by never seeing poor Katharine after her marriage with my brother George, you led me to believe that the old gentleman's objections were the only obstacles in the way of our marriage. I lived on — not in hopes of his death, for I could not be so wicked as to hope for that — but I lived on, certain that, when it should please Providence to take him, you would fulfil your promise and redeem your pledge. He died, John, but you came not to me, wrote not to me. Day after day I watched ; listened to every knock at the door, fancying it might be you ; and every time I saw the postman coming towards our lodging, my heart beat because I thought he might bring me a letter from you.

96 JACK BRAG.

" A year passed away, and then, as you know, I wrote to you, rather because I had heard from George and your sister, and wished you to have news of them, which I knew you could not otherwise get, than to worry you with my own importunities. You answered that letter, but you came not yourself, neither did the letter which you wrote contain one kind word, or one allusion to other days, now past and gone. Yet I complained not. I heard of you in gay parties and gay places ; I sighed to think how far we were parted, and perhaps I cried, John : but you were happy and prosperous, and doing well in the world ; and I could only blame myself for having, when a girl, been so foolish as to fancy that you cared for me enough to make me your wife.

" Six years and two months this very day was the first time we met, and God knows, al- though I have felt sorrow and sadness enough since, it seems to me as if it were but yesterday. It was to oblige and serve your sister Katha- rine, who was my friend, that I walked out with her, when she used to meet George. I

JACK BRAG. 97

did not sec any harm in their courtship : I thought well of my brother ; I knew he was kind and good ; his officers gave him the high- est character for steadiness, activity, honour, and integrity ; he loved her, and she loved him. I ought, perhaps, to have known, that he was not what is called a suitable match for Katha- rine; but girls of seventeen, especially upon such matters, do not always calculate. I am sure / did not, or I would not have helped her to take a step which was to make her parents so angry.

" It was the same blindness in my own case that permitted me to listen to your professions. I am not ashamed to own, John, that I loved you fondly ; nor am I ashamed to tell you, although perhaps you will not believe me, that the impressions made then remain as strong as ever. I have not seen you here for more now than three years. Perhaps it is for the best. I did see you once, now about four months since, riding with another gentleman ; it was in the Kent Road. I thought you saw me, but I am sure I must have been mistaken.

" What I now write about, cuts me to the

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soul ! Mi/ fate is sealed ! and never shall a murmur of mine for myself cause you a mo- ments uneasiness. The folly was mine : I alone will suffer ! — But there is another to whom — I scarce can hold my pen to write the words — to whom, by the strongest ties of na- ture, and the sacred word of God, I am bound. I could not beg of a stranger; my heart would burst before I could confess my wretch- edness ; — to 1/ou, John, I can speak. My poor mother is, I fear, dying. She has been con- fined to her bed for several days, and I have nobody to watch over her but myself. Her illness has prevented her working, and my con- stant attendance upon her, has hindered me from doing anything myself. Do not be angry with me, John ; what I ask, is not for myself. She shall bless you for your care of her, and be grateful for any little aid you may afford her. When she recovers, she and I will strug- gle to repay you.

" If you required any proof of my unshaken reo-ard, you might find it in this request. As I have told you, time and reflection have taught

JACK BRAG. 99

me the folly of my ever considering you more than a friend, — it is in the character of a dear friend that I ask this favour for the best of parents. '

" I have put the address to this letter, which is the same as the one which was to my last ; but I thought, perhaps, you might have de- stroyed it and forgotten the direction. We have not heard from George for more than two years, which makes my poor mother very sad ; but we have been told that his regiment is com- ing home. You who are so much in the world could find out in a minute, I know : even if you did not care about George, you must be anxious to hear of Katharine, whom you fondly loved, and who I know loved you with equal affection.

" I will not take up more of your time. Let me have one line, to say you have received this. I shall count the minutes till I get your answer, which may at all events assure me that you are not angry with me. God bless you, John — dear John ! and assure yourself of the affec- tionate friendship of

" Yours, Anne Brown.

f2

100 JACK BRAG.

*' You will see by the seal of this, how your present to me was valued, and how it has been treasured. Adieu."

This was the letter which Mr. John Brag thrust into his coat pocket in his mother's presence, and which in five minutes afterwards was as hastily withdrawn from it and thrown into the fire unopened and unread. " John," as poor Anne called him, knew the writing, and with the low cunning of a vulgar mind, fancied he could justly anticipate the contents of an appeal from an amiable woman whom he had deluded and betrayed, leaving her no consolation in her desertion but that which she could not fail to derive from the support of religion and the consciousness of her own unspotted virtue.

Yes, Anne, the humble unpretending Anne, was still the gentle, modest creature he had found her. Her mind was, perhaps, not so very highly cultivated as others in the world, nor were her accomplishments so numerous, but she was a woman; and kindness, duty, devo- tion, and disinterestedness were blended in the

JACK BRAG. 101

composition of her character. Mr. John Brag would probably have described her in different terms, had he ever permitted himself to speak of her, and perhaps would have affected to pity the " poor creature," while he laughed at her fondness and credulity. Mr. John Brag was a great talker, and everybody knows what that is. The nature and extent of his feelings and regard for the once loved of his earlier days may easily be ascertained, by the way in which he treated her appeal. He stood and looked at the flames as they scorched and finally con- sumed the paper, and quitted the room per- fectly satisfied with his firmness and philosophy, thinking, as it appeared, with Lord Monteagle's anonymous friend, that " the danger was past as soon as he had burned the letter."

The writing this letter to one whom she yet believed in heart devoted to her, although with- held from making her his wife by considera- tions first instilled into his mind by his late father, and, for all she knew, kept alive by his surviving parent, cost poor Anne a severe struggle. When it was despatched, it became

102 JACK BRAG.

the sole object of her consideration from morn- ing till night. The doubt whether she had done wrong, — whether John would think ill of her, or fancy her mercenary or presuming, — whether he would receive it as she hoped, and come per- haps himself, bearing the relief she sought for her poor mother, — whether he would make a point of taking it to her on the day upon which the application reached him, the day upon one anniversary of which he had given her the very seal with which she had sealed it, — whether it might awaken feelings which she was sure he possessed, but which, for the reasons we have just stated, had been suffered to lie dormant,

— and whether I

But vain were all her hopes — groundless all her fears, — by one rude blow the bond between them had been eternally severed ; and while the poor anxious Anne was pondering these things in her mind, Mr. John Brag was dining at the Ship Tavern at Greenwich, with a party of uncommonly fine fellows, who, in spite of those leviathans of the deep, the steam-ships, which agitate the surface of the once silver

JACK BRAG. 103

Thames into a sort of metropolitan sea, had pulled down from Whitehall in their accustom- ed blue shirts, to partake of the fare for which, as well as its hospital, Greenwich is so famous.

Day passed after day, and, as the reader may easily anticipate, Anne and her application re- mained unnoticed. In her mind this silence was associated with some calamity which must have befallen John, and this apprehension added to her other griefs and anxiety ; meanwhile, her mother's illness increased, and, almost without the common necessaries of life, Anne was at all hazards forced to call in medical assistance.

She had here again a difficult, a delicate task to perform, but it was a duty, a filial duty; and who can doubt that the well-regulated mind of this now humble girl was soon made up as to the course she was to pursue .'' The reader may have noticed the expression, " now humble,"" it is meant that he should notice it, because, humble as was and had been the posi- tion of the mother and her two children, they had been born to better things. Anne's father was the son of a Bristol merchant who had

104 JACK BRAG.

amassed considerable property, to which his son succeeded. He married early, and, contrary to the advice of his friends, left his native city to enter upon a new field of speculation in London. Those who remember the wonderful prospects held out in the year 1825, and who perhaps are even yet suffering from the effects of their vast and sudden destruction, may anticipate the termi- nation of Mr. Brown's career at an earlier period. Those who at the present moment are assailed on every side by the most plausible professions and the most tempting offers of fortunes incal- culable, by an embarkation in the variously diverging abominations called rail-roads, and who fancy a dividend is at hand before a spade has been struck in the ground, which it is pro- posed to disfigure and destroy for the lucre of gain, had better take warning by it. — For some two or three years Mr. Brown occupied a hand- some house, his table was open to his numerous mercantile friends, and, in those days, every- thing that Mr. Brown possessed was of the best, everything he did was of the wisest. The war which the triumph of Waterloo so gloriously

JACK BRAG. 105

closed, was, at the time of Mr. Brown's prospe- rity, raging fiercely ; every foreign port was closed by an embargo; the market was safely shut against the importation of an article in general demand, of which he held a considerable quantity. The fine and liberal notion struck him of buying up at all hazards and all prices this desirable commodity :— he did so, — and, although as a young beginner in London not much known, he had agents all over the Empire, who were employed by him to keep incessantly purchasing, until warehouse after warehouse was stored with it, and he became nearly the only holder in the kingdom. Thus, having long before expended all his capital in the pursuit, he pro- posed to regulate the market with the turn of his finger. The price advanced, he still held ; it ad- vanced yet more ; and he began to doubt whe- ther he had screwed it up to a pitch sufficiently high to answer his purpose, and make him a mil- lionaire; when, one fine morning, an order in council suddenly and unexpectedly opened the long-closed ports, and the next week beheld,

Mr. Brown an irretrievably ruined bankrupt.

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106 JACK BRAG.

In the pursuit of his infatuating speculation his engagements had become incalculably enor- mous, and the consequent securities unbounded. The shock of such a reverse was too much for such a mind, and in the midst of recklessness, remorse, and despair, he consummated all his other madnesses by suicide.

In the hour of distress, it was shown that no provision had been made for his widow and two children. His connexions at Bristol were few, and those, greatly offended at his quitting his native city, did not feel at all disposed to re- lieve his relict, whom, however unjustly, they thought proper, conveniently enough in order to save their own pence, to denounce as the first cause of his increased rate of living, to support which he had had recourse to extraordinary means of gain ; and when all was done that could be done, an annuity of forty pounds a year was secured for her, by a subscription amongst a few of her husband's friends in London.

The fall was sudden, dreadful ; at that pe- riod her son George was about eighteen, Anne about twelve. George had received a fair edu-

JACK BRAG. 107

cation at a school at Clapton or Hackney, I now forget which, and was a fine handsome grown young man. Anne was almost too young to ap- preciate the full extent of her misfortune, and her affectionate disposition led her thus early to devote all her care to her surviving parent, to whom the change in their circumstances and station, to her almost unaccountable, only endeared her the more.

George was old enough to know the whole truth, and to feel the bitterness of repulse when his mother tried to procure him a mer- cantile situation in the city, and being of a bold and resolute character, he left his home without any communication with either his mo- ther or sister, and enlisted in an infantry regi- ment, then in Ireland. It was not until his scheme had been irrevocably completed, that he imparted the truth to his parent, and then returning to receive her blessing, departed for the Emerald Isle with a sort of negative con- currence on her part, obtained by the expres- sion of his determination upon the point, and an avowal that, if he even could obtain footing

108 JACK BRAG.

in any merchant's counting-house, he felt as- sured that his disposition and feelings would not permit him to continue in it.

George''s removal from her care and charge, however much she lamented the separation, of course relieved the widow from considerable expense ; and the little Anne was not yet of an age to require much outlay ; for her mother, who had been cruelly misrepresented by her late husband's connexions as being the cause and origin of his follies, was of a most domes- tic turn of mind, and sufficiently accomplished to instruct her daughter in as much of orna- mental education as it was probable she ever would require.

Still it was evident that the annuity which was secured to her would not be sufficient to support them without additions derivable from some other source ; and thus it was that she formed the resolution of retiring to one of the villages near town, and turning the minor accomplishments which she possessed, to ac- count, in order to increase her income. This she did, and, under the blessing of Providence, sue-

JACK BRAG. 109

cessfully. Undisturbed by the inquiries of any of the friends of her prosperity, but encou- raged by the respectable inhabitants of the neighbourhood in which she had fixed her hum- ble abode, she obtained by the sale of numerous fancy articles of her own making, and by even humbler employments, a sufficient income to render her happy, inasmuch as it secured the society of her beloved daughter. In Bristol and its neighbourhood the name of Brown, com- mon as it is, might from circumstances have attracted the unpleasant curiosity of some, and entailed upon her the equally disagreeable commiseration or condemnation — coming hand in hand, perhaps — of others ; but in the neigh- bourhood of London few people, out of his own immediate circle, knew the victim of ill- fated ambition, and all that was said of Mrs. Brown in the village in which she located her- self was, that she was a remarkably nice civil lady-like person, and had evidently been born much above the station she then filled.

It was about two years after George's depar- ture from the home he had scarcely inhabited,

110 • JACK BRAG.

that the acquaintance between Katharine Brag and Nancy Brown commenced. It originated in the fact that Mrs. Brown, anxious that her child should improve herself upon certain points of education beyond those to which she might herself be competent to lead her, or rather, if the truth were told, finding that more regu- larity and restraint were necessary to settle the habits and fix the attention of her child, than were likely to be observed or enforced at home, resolved on sending her as a day scholar to Lavender Lodge, the " Seminary for young Ladies,"" at which Miss Brag was — in all pro- bability as a set-ofF for soap and candles — be- ing polished up to perfection — this special fa- vour being granted to the widow on account of her exemplary conduct, and the universal re- spect in which she was held.

With the girls at Lavender Lodge, little Anne soon became an amazing favourite and a general pet. The very circumstance of her re- turning home to dinner, and quitting her com- panions after school hours, gave her a sort of distinction, and made her, as it were, the me-

JACK BRAG. HI

dium of intelligence, and even of communica- tion, by which contraband luxuries were some- times smuggled in, and what are technically called " slip-letters,'* from the bigger girls to their friends, were" smuggled out of the semi- nary. By these acts of kindness, the impro- priety of which Nancy was then not old enough perfectly to comprehend, she was quite the fashion, and the boarders were unanimous in treating her with kindness and affection.

Amongst her greatest friends was Katharine Brag, who was more than ordinarily good-na- tured to her, and during the three years Miss Brag remained at school before she was pro- nounced everything that heart could wish, Anne had grown up to be more than sixteen years of age — and had so far gained the confi- dence of the head of the establishment, that it seemed more than probable she might eventually become a permanent assistant in its duties. Cir- cumstances, however, occurred to put an end to this probability ; for a lady who had taken con- siderable interest in Mrs. Brown's success, made a proposal to her to establish herself in the vil-

112 JACK BRAG.

lage of Walworth, near London, where she was certain she could ensure her support and patron- age in the sale of her various works, as well as in the art and mystery of dress-making, which the industrious mother had studied, and now practised, to maintain herself and her child. This offer, superadded to the desire of Anne herself to contribute her share of labour to their joint maintenance, decided their removal.

This chanuje of habitation tended rather to confirm the friendship of Miss Brag for her friend; for it was effected just about the pe- riod at which that young lady finally quitted school. The amiable manners of Anne again became her passport into the societ}? of the elder Brags ; and although she was received as the humble companion of the young lady, she was so genteel and so clever that they thought (much strengthened in their opinions by that of their daughter) that it was greatly to her advantage to have such a companion.

In the midst of this happy communion, and just as John Brag had begun to look at Anne with eyes not quite indifferent, her brother

JACK BRAG. 113

George arrived at home on leave of absence from his regiment, previous to its departure for India. He was then a fine handsome young man, of two or three and twenty. The mili- tary drillings he had undergone had set him up, and his figure was just what a figure ought to be. The career he had run since he entered the army had been honourable and satisfactory. The notice of his officers had very early after his enlistment been attracted to the attention, regularity, and assiduity with which he performed all his military du- ties ; and a rumour having soon got about that he was something better than he seemed to be, he was taken notice of by the captain of his company, who, after inquiries, not further pushed than he felt consistent with delicacy, and the evident desire of the young man himself for a certain degree of conceal- ment, suggested him as a fit occupant of the office of paymaster's clerk, for which it was evident he was fully qualified : — he was speedily raised to be a corporal, and before his first four years of service were expired, had be-

114 JACK BRAG.

come serjeant-major of his regiment, a cir- cumstance perhaps unparalleled in the British service.

In one of those moments which decide the fate of empires and of ladies, Katharine Brag met George Brown ; it took but one glance of his bright eyes to scorch her susceptible heart, and unfortunately or fortunately, as the case may be, George Brown reciprocated the feeling. It was no difficult matter to get Anne to agree to Katharine's avowal, that she had never seen so charming a person, — an officer too, — the thing of all others; for the immediate rank of the young hero " in mufti" was never explicitly defined ; and while she was contriving all sorts of devices to enjoy his society in the participation of the various amusements of middling life, her brother John, who had be- come great friends with George for the sake of his sister, fell into all their arrangements with the greatest readiness ; so that every day in which they could manage it, little parties were made for Exhibitions, Panoramas, and all the Vauxhalls, Lyceums, Playhouses, and places

JACK BRAG. 115

of public resort, where either during the per- formance or after it was over, they might so satisfactorily pair off, as to leave themselves counterchanged in couples, to the unqualified delights of that sort of honeyed conversation, to which it is as impossible to do justice in the repetition, as it is barbarous to interrupt in its progress.

After the play, as George was with her, Anne would stop to supper with the old Brags; and then, as John Brag was fond of exercise, he would see George and his sister home to Walworth after supper was over ; and so they went on, until John was desperately in love with Anne, and Katharine resolved upon marrying George.

Katharine believed that she had great influ- ence over her father, and, from what Anne had told her of her origin, never imagined but that she should procure his consent to her mar- riage with George, — an affair which "pressed," inasmuch as his leave would be out in about three weeks, and away he must march with his regiment. So Katharine, one fine afternoon,

116 JACK BRAG.

just gently touched upon the subject of Mr. Brown's good qualities, in a tete-a-tete with her papa, and led the conversation into a channel which she thought very likely to extort an opinion from the old gentleman. She was right; — she succeeded in her speculation, and heard, to her infinite horror and amazement, that he would see a daughter of his dead at his feet before she should marry what he called a " Soger."

And then forthwith " flared up " the anger of the venerable Brag, who, though a really plain straightforward man, and as free from pride or affectation as any wax and tallow chandler within the bills of mortality, became absolutely furious at the notion of this dress- maker and her brother, — people admitted only just to please his daughter's fancy, — presum- ing and daring, and all that : which fury ended in a positive prohibition of any further inter- course between the parties ; a mandate for which was accordingly issued, sanctioned of course by Mrs. Brag, who however, in yielding her ac- cordance to the decree, could not help thinking

JACK BRAG. 117

that Anne and her brother were as nice a couple of people as ever she had seen in all her born days.

It was at this juncture that the friendship of Anne for Katharine Brag and her affection for George were called into action. It was then she contrived meetings for them, to which Kate came escorted by John, and George accom- panied by herself. Up to this period these had been matters of course; but when old Brag shut his doors against the Browns, and handed his daughter oyer to the care and surveillance of her brother John, it became another sort of affair, and as John was too happy to bask in Nancy's smiles, he gladly squired his love-sick sister to their appointments ; and thus matters went on for a fortnight or so, when Kitty Brag ran away with the young Sergeant, who, having as well as his bride attained the years of discretion, pro- cured a licence and became man and wife, — a fact which came to the knowledge of the respectable parents of the bride by her non-appearance at breakfast, and a return of ^^ noii est inventa'''* made to a sort of warrant sent after her into

lis JACK BRAG.

her bed-room, whence she had decamped very early indeed in the morning.

From that morning neither Brag the elder nor Mrs. Brag had ever seen their child up to the period of the commencement of my narra- tive ; Mr. Brag, as we know, had been gathered to his fathers ; and George and his wife were still in India.

After the wedding and flight the proscribed Anne used to see John, who contrived, unknown to the old people, to visit her and her mother as usual. This acquaintance was for some time continued as the reader may have already disco-' vered ; its happy termination being only delayed, as Brag had himself said, until the death of his father should leave him free to act for himself. Meanwhile the said father having then but one object left upon which to lavish all his paternal affection, gave his son counsel and promises which led him to aspire, and, as he said, " look up," and so Johnny by degrees became less ar- dent and infinitely more civil towards Miss Brown, until by those gentle gradations of cool- ness which fond and anxious hearts can only

JACK BRAG. 119

justly estimate, she saw him seldom, and heard from him rarely. His father's death occurred, — Brag immediately took a higher flight, and having furbished himself up by dint of private lessons and evening tuition, was ready, when he came into possession of the business, to aban- don the course which his blinded parent had pursued, to enable him to cut a figure, and became the thing which the reader has already seen him to be.

The intelligence which Mrs. Brown had from time to time received of George was extremely satisfactory ; he had been specially noticed by Major Mopes, (the military secretary of Sir Cad- wallader Adamthwaite, the commander-in-chief at the presidency,) who had, upon the recom- mendation of the paymaster of the regiment, whose clerk he had been, appointed him to a similar situation in his office ; a step which George, who was full of ambition, wrote home to say he hoped might lead to better things.

What they might be, Mrs. Brown of Wal- worth did not exactly understand; however, he appeared happy, spoke affectionately of his

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wife, and looked forward to the next ten or fifteen years as likely to bring him home again. To Anne, a prospective view of ten or fifteen years was but a sad one ; the loss of Katha- rine had been to her severe and trying, and every month, and every year grew sadder, un- til at last the only consolation left which she derived from George"'s letters, was lost, and at the time she wrote the appeal to John, with which the chapter begins, she had not, as she says, heard from him for more than two years.

Then it was that real sorrow and bitterness of heart came over her, — her mother's illness, her brother's silence, her lover's falsehood, her own destitution, — it was a dreadful coinbina- tion of evils, against which she had to bear up. One other blow was only wanting to overwhelm her, — and it fell.

There are moments when the most serious calamities affect us less than matters which to the million may appear of no moment or im- portance whatever ; a look, a frown, a smile, nothing in themselves, have, when the mind is

JACK BRAG. 1^1

wrought up to a certain pitch of excitement, a power more dreadful than the gravest evils of another day.

I have already said that, after waiting for an answer to the letter she wrote to "John,'" — on her birth-day, — sealed with his seal, — and moistened with her tears — (the letter he de- stroyed unread), — she felt the absolute neces- sity of overcoming all scruples, and conquering all repugnance to what might be considered the solicitation of charity in favour of her mo- ther ; and accordingly she set forth from their humble dwelling, leaving her sinking pa- rent in the care of a temporary nurse, to call upon a well-known professional man in the neighbourhood of Burlington Gardens, of whom she had often heard the lady who first induced them to take up their abode in Walworth (but who now was herself dead) — speak in the highest terms. Anne had indeed seen him at that lady's house, and felt that that circumstance gave her something like con- fidence to make an appeal to him on behalf

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of her sick mother, which she would not have felt with regard to a perfect stranger.

Behold then this fair, fond, and affectionate daughter on her way — trembling and doubting, as she hurried along the crowded streets, — her eyes cast down or heedlessly wandering, while her thoughts are all concentered on the pil- low on which her dying mother''s aching head was laid ; a prayer to Heaven resting on her lips, and hope, strengthened and sanctified by the silent appeal, glowing in her heart. Just as she reaches the neighbourhood of the worthy man who is to minister worldly relief to her parent's afflictions, her way is intercept- ed,— there is a crowd — a stoppage, — she is rudely pressed upon, — stared at, by an unmean- ing insolent countenance belonging to a tall, tiger-looking, smoke-dried dandy, upon whose arm is leaning a short, smart, vulgar-genteel companion. The tall fellow continues his gaze for a moment ; the short fellow, emulating this impertinence, and anxious to behold the beauty who has attracted his friend's attention, pro-

JACK BRAG. 123

ceeds to the manual experiment of pinching her arm. The suflPering wanderer turns in- dignantly to repel the insult, and sees be- fore her, grinning and grimacing, like a ba- boon, that paragon of pretension, Mr. John Brag.

At such a moment such a sight was, indeed, a trial ; — but if it struck daggers into her heart thus to be treated by him, who once, and in other days, had vowed his vow of love and faith to her, what must she have felt, when, upon beholding her pallid agitated counte- nance, she saw the fellow wink at his compa- nion, and heard him exclaim with the peculiar elegance of the school to which he aspired to belong, " Ho, ho, — come along, my lord — no go — this is a mistake," — and clutching his tall friend's arm, hurry on, shrugging up his shoulders in a sort of mock despair, and no doubt giving his own version of the na- ture of the previous acquaintance which had evidently subsisted between himself and the supposed stranger !

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Anne stood still for a moment — had she tried to move forward, she would have fallen ; — her breath faltered — the blood seemed to ebb and flow in her heart — her eyes swam with tears ; — she was better, — she continued her way, and reached the physician's door, — it was opened to her, and she was shown into a parlour where those who came under similar circumstances were accustomed to wait : — there it was that her feelings had way, — she scarcely had entered, before floods of tears poured down her pale cheeks, and they who had come for advice and assistance themselves, were eager and active in her service. As soon as intelligence of the cir- cumstance had been conveyed to the master of the house, he made his appearance in the apart- ment, and seeing the extent of poor Anne's agi- tation, caused her to be removed into another room, where every attention was paid her which the exigency of her case required.

Her agitation, however, appeared to increase, and the moment she was sufficiently recovered to attempt to explain heself, she relapsed into a s^tate so painful and alarming, that the ex-

JACK BRAG. 125

cellent man, satisfied by the circumstances that she was labouring under some excitement, any attempt to soothe which, upon the instant would be perfectly vain and useless, placed her in the care of his housekeeper, (for whom he despatched a servant,) with directions to keep the young lady perfectly quiet, and endea- vour to soothe and calm her mind until he should return, after having seen those patients who were in the habit, at stated hours, of call- ing upon /nm at his own house.

And while all this was going on, Mr. John Brag and his friend Lord Tom Towzle, who, as the reader perhaps has anticipated, Avas his companion upon the occasion, and whom although he " Tommied" him and " Towzled" him in his absence, he " my lorded" in his presence to an immeasurable extent of vul- garity, not merely to toady the stripling but to be overheard by the passing crowd — were, as 1 suspected, engaged in an elaborate detail of Jack's foregone adventures with Anne, which, as Lord Tom did not care whether Brag were hang- ed or not, so as he rode his horse " Slap-bang"

126 JACK BRAG.

to win on the following Thursday, he might just as well have saved himself the trouble of repeating.

Upon what small things great things turn, say ten thousand writers, — so is it proved by this adventure of Mr. Brag''s. Worlds would not have convinced Anne Brown of his false- hood and heartlessness, had this event not oc- curred ; they were now proclaimed — esta- blished, — practically established. His first assault might have been mere rudeness, — not likely to endear him to one who fancied him devoted to her; but when the discovery had been made, and he saw whom he had outraged, to conduct himself as he had done, was enough to decide the question. Thus it is that we learn more in an hour from a lecture illustrated by experiments, than we can collect from written treatises or printed instructions in a year. The art, or science, whatever it may be, is embodied, — you have it before you, — and the very facility with which the pro- fessor performs his operations, makes the spec- tator himself a proficient.

JACK BRAG." 127

So was it with Anne : — she had seen what no book could have taught her, she had wit- nessed that which no other evidence would have induced her to believe. The blow was severe, but perhaps it was providential.

128 JACK BRAG.

CHAPTER V.

Having safely housed our unhappy girl in the house of the worthy physician, we may per- haps be permitted to cast our eyes towards the gay widow and her sensitive sister, who, truth to be told, were suffering as much in their way as our more humble friend from Walworth.

Mrs. Dallington, whose perception was re- markably clear, and whose judgment was parti- cularly sound, had for some time been fully aware of the state of Sir Charles Lydiard's heart and mind — for his mind and his heart were waging a perpetual war with each other ; nor, however solicitous she might be (I admit that supposition merely for argument's sake) to bring their acquaintance to a happy termination, did she entirely regret the caution and consi-

JACK BRAG. 129

deration with which, it was so evident, the fas- tidious baronet bent his steps towards the hymeneal altar. She felt assured that, if he judged her rightly and fairly, she should even- tually possess his entire affection ; and she also felt, that to obtain it after such a scruti- ny, would be to secure it for the rest of her life.

It must be allowed that she sometimes thought he had considered and examined and scrutinized quite long enough, and believed that the time had arrived when she should have an opportunity of saying yea or nay, as the case might be ; but, whenever the crisis seemed at hand, some new doubt, some new apprehension, appeared to be conjured up, the bright vision was dissipated, and she re- mained still the expecting, disappointed Mrs.

Dallington.

Blanche, on the other hand, received a pro- posal from Rushton almost every day in the week — if at least the most violent protestations of love and devotion might be so construed ; but the brusquerie of his character evinced itself so

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perpetually, that the chances were, that the even- ing of the brightest day ended in a storm. Blanche was quite aware of the disposition she had to deal with ; and although flurried and fluttered by her lover's extraordinary animation and vi- vacity, she resolved not to surrender her hand, whatever might be the fate of her heart, until she was convinced that her hero was calmed into a fit state for domestication. In point of fact, Rush ton was quite as jealous of Blanche as Lydiard was of her sister ; but his jealousy was of a different caste: he smiled, frowned, laughed, scolded, and did ten thousand unac- countable things, just as he was acted upon by passing events, while Lydiard never suf- fered himself to be betrayed into any exter- nal evidence of what occupied his mind : and thus the pair of lovers continued to make them- selves as uncomfortable as they made those, whom upon all essential points were devotedly their own.

Affairs were in this delicate position when Brag, who was encouraged in all his absurdi- ties by his noble friend Lord Tom, partly to

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gratify his vanity, and so secure his aid, if re- quired, upon emergencies, and partly to afford sport to his lordship's friends, opened his heart in a kind of hypothetical way to the young lord with regai'd to the widow and her sister, to which train of thought he had been led by the conversation he had previously had with Rushton in the street.

" I don't see," said Jack, " why — I — shouldn't do as well as my neighbours, in the matrimonial line. I look on, at others who play at courting with wonder ; they seem to me to make no move. Now there 's Sir Charles Ly- diard and the widow — they don't care a fig for each other, and yet they are to be married, as the world says. As for Blanche, she seems to me to care as little for Rushton. Why, hang it ! if I wanted to marr}? either of them, it would not be a week's work. No, no ! — faint heart — elf! you know. I 'd just make either of them buckle to, in half the time, and no mistake."

" Have you ever thought of such a thing. Jack ?" said Lord Tom, who, piqued by the coldness with which the widow had always

132 JACK BRAG.

received him, felt by no means ill-disposed to encourage his tiger in any scheme likely to make a commotion in the family.

" Why," said Jack, " I can't say that I have; but I — of course, I dare say it means no more than what I always meet with — but I have thought that there was something uncom- mon odd about the widow's eyes."

" Indeed !" said Lord Tom, — " and very liandsome eyes they are too: besides, Jack, she is rich, and what they call in the city ' well to do.' "

" Mum !"" said Jack — " know her fortune to a fraction : didn't overlook that in the calcu- lation."

" Oh!" said his lordship — "then you have been thinking rather seriously upon the subject."

" Not seriously," replied the tiger, " only I was considering that Sir Charles is what I call losing time — waiting upon her too long, as we should say at Epsom. It would be a good match, — not that I care for money — no more than my father did. Did I ever tell you of my governor and his hundred-pound note?"

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JACK BRAG. 133

Not that I recollect," said his lordship, although he did.

" Why, wj/ father," said Jack, " was one day walking along the Strand, when, just as he came by the end of Buckingham Street, a fellow picked his pocket of his pocket-book, full- of memorandums, letters, and other papers, " of no use but to the owner," and a hundred pound note besides. What d'ye think he did, as soon as he found out his loss ? ''

" Went to Bow Street, perhaps," said Lord Tom.

" No."

" Stepped to the Bank and stopped it."

" Couldn't — didn't know the number.'"

" Caught the thief, then."

" No," said Jack, " not a bit of it. The minute he found he had lost it, he went home and got another."

" In order to have it stolen like the former," said Lord Tom.

*' Not a bit of it," replied Jack ; "just to show how little he cared about money. So with me ; I don't care for money, except as it buys mo-

134 JACK BRAG.

ney's worth. What's a guinea in a box? — not better than a brass button in a bag. But still one cannot marry without the stumpy."

" Then try the widow," said Lord Tom ; " you have my full permission — only don't quote me as authority. You will drive Sir Charles either into a proposal or the Serpentine river; so at all events something will come of it."

" But, my lord," said Jack, " since we have touched upon this matter, I will be candid. I have just said 1 don't value money ; but, if it weren't for the fortune, I would rather marry the sister."

'* And has she been kind too," said Lord Tom.

" Why," said Jack, simpering, and aiFecting to look modest, " I can't say kind — uncommon goodnatured — and — laughs — and all that : and I have heard a long-headed old fellow, who knows the sex, say, that if you can once make a grave female laugh, the day is your own."

" Provided always," said his lordship, " that she laughs ivitk and not at you ; the difference is surprisingly great."

JACK BRAG. 135

" Oh ! Blanche is no Avays whatsoever satiri- cal," said the tallow chandler : — " and, hang me ! if I was asked, I should say there wasn't a pin to choose between them."

" Take my advice, Jack," said the mischiev- ous lordHng — " try them both. Manage your matters well — lead them both on — there is no chance of their confiding in each other, because as they are both supposed to be engaged, nei- ther would choose to trust the other with any proof of her infidelit}^"

" Shall I write to the widow," said Jack, " and talk to the sister" —

"Write, man! are you mad?" said Lord Tom. " Never write — that would be a pretty aflPair. Who knows how notes may miscarry — how writing-desks may be left open, or if not, be broken open ? Besides, they might, upon so strange a proceeding as that, compare notes, and what a pretty mess you would be in then ! No ; sound them — try them — get them apart, and ascertain the extent of their interest in you."

Brag listened to all this advice of his noble friend, believing it to be given de bonne foi ; and

136 JACK BRAG.

although there appeared difficulties in the deli- cate process which his lordship suggested, and which, by a mind like Brag's, were not perfectly easy to be surmounted, he thought he compre- hended the general tenor of his instructions, which had for its object his making himself uncommonly agreeable to both parties.

" Lead Blanche on," said Lord Tom, " by a course of negative officiousness ; be always near her, devoted and unaffected. Let her fall into friendship ; sympathize with her in all her feel- ings, agree in all her opinions — but never seem to do so with any defined object : thus in a fortnight or three weeks you will obtain her confidence. She will be convinced you esteem her and value her, and are anxious for her comfort and hap- piness ; then she'll grow kind and familiar, and, thrown off her guard by your respect- ful behaviour, will begin to evince an undis- guised wish for your society. She will at last feel that you are somehow, she can scarcely tell how, essential to her happiness, and when you have got her into this blessed state of amiabihty, off with your disguise of friendship, like the hero

JACK BRAG. lo7

of a tragedy, and profess yourself her lover. Then"—

" Ay, ay," interrupted Jack, " that 's all very well, my dear lord, and a very pretty month's amusement it would be, to do all you prescribe : but, then, what will Frank Rushton be about to let me ? He 's as fiery as a dragon, and as jealous as old Nick. No, no, whatever is done, must be done clean, off-hand, smack smooth, and no mistake."

" Then," said Lord Tom, " if that 's your principle, you had better take a shot at the widow ; she 's not so likely to be flurried by a hurry ; and, besides, your activity will form such a striking contrast to the respectable icicle now hanging about her, that you will in all pro- bability carry the day by a coup de main.''''

" Just after my own heart," said Jack ; " by Job ! I '11 have a shy at her."

" Do," said his lordship, " and when you are installed in the town-house and family man- sion in the west or north, or wherever it is, make yourself agreeable ; fill your house with your friends, and let us be jolly."'

138 JACK BRAG.

" We '11 live like fighting cocks,'' said Jack, " you only just see. I '11 do it regular ; there sha'nt be a fellow in the king's dominions who shall beat me."

" Success attend you, Jack !" said his lord- ship," but don't forget Thursday."

" I '11 be punctual to the minute," said Jack ; my watch is a regular-built chronometer. You shall find me at the starting-post, all right, and no mistake."

And so the friends parted. Brag having not the slightest intention of ever risking a second visit to Wrigglesford, or a second attempt to trespass on the surly farmer's grounds, who had threatened him for his former proceeding ; and moreover being: resolved to devote the next few days to the achievement of one of the beau- ties, of both of whom he was convinced, in his small mind, he was a regularly established favourite.

Meanwhile we must not forget poor Anne Brown, whom we left under the care of the physician's housekeeper, and who, when she recovered from the agitation which kept her

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senseless for some hours, found herself with her head reclining upon the arm of that highly respectable functionary.

It would require a much greater space than I am permitted in this hasty narrative, to de- scribe the excellent qualities of Dr. Mead, the eminent and able practitioner to whom the anxious daughter had prevailed upon herself to apply for advice and assistance; but it is absolutely necessary that the reader should be made acquainted to a certain extent with the attributes of his character, even beyond the pale of his profession, the exercise of which seemed rather the fruit of a desire to do good to others, than of any venal feeling of self- aggrandizement.

Although there exists no documentary evi- dence to prove his descent from the eminent physician of the same name, it seems not entire- ly improbable that the fortuitous circumstance of a similarity of patronymic and profession might have conduced almost unconsciously to a similarity of feeling and disposition between them. Matthew Mead, the father of the famous

140 JACK BRAG.

doctor, was a nonconforming divine : our Dr. Mead's father was an orthodox clergyman. If the famous Mead married early, our Mead was yet single ; and whatever turn he might have had for the fine arts, or whatever veneration he enter- tained for their professors, his means, althovigh fully adequate to the maintenance of a highly respectable establishment and equipage, were not yet sufficiently extensive to emulate his namesake as a patron or protector. Still, his income might have been much larger, had he not upon every occasion where, by a benevo- lent curiosity, he discovered the slenderness of a patient's means, forborne to accept the fees Avhich from the rich and great he did not hesi- tate to accept, and which his spreading fame and rising reputation produced in very consi- derable numbers.

In his manners mild and soothing, in his con- versation unaffected and intelligent, his study appeared to be to " minister to the mind dis- eased," as well as to the body ; and his ap- proach to the sick chamber was hailed by the watchful invalid rather as a relief from pain

JACK BRAG. 141

and suffering in itself, than as the mere busi- ness visit of a professional man, coming in the ordinary routine of duty to enquire and prescribe.

With feelings and a disposition like this, the benevolence of his heart beaming in his countenance, and the sympathy which he felt for sorrow and sadness expressed in language the most gentle and in a tone the most harmo- nious, it is not surprising that Dr. Mead should have speedily reassured poor Anne, to whom, ^s soon as she was sufficiently recovered to be conscious of her situation, he was summoned by the housekeeper, and whom he was greatly surprised, upon inquiry, to find not a patient, but merely the emissary from one who sought his advice.

It was in a moment evident to his search- ing eye, that the agitation under which she had been suffering, and from which she was not yet quite recovered, must have had its ori- gin in some more sudden event, and one of more recent occurrence than the illness of her mother : he resolved to question her upon the point ; but a recurrence of all the worst sym-

142 JACK BRAG.

ptoms induced him to forego any further search into a matter, in fact, disconnected with the object of her visit to his house.

That object was immediately attained. The excellent man ordered his carriage to be got ready instantly, and directed the housekeeper, who had been in attendance on Anne, to ac- company her to her mother's house, and to re- turn home with the carriage, telling her that he would himself, having called upon one or two patients in his immediate neighbourhood on foot, proceed to visit his new patient at a later hour ; giving as a reason for this proceeding the abso- lute necessity of his seeing those persons before his departure for Walworth, and the probable anxiety of Mrs. Brown for the safety of her daughter, if she should delay her return until he should be able to accompany her.

To some practitioners, this delicacy on the part of our doctor might appear somewhat too refined, the obvious mode of proceeding being, to have handed the young lady into the car- riage, and driven with her to her mother's resi- dence ; but Mead felt otherwise. He had odd

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notions upon many points ; and beyond what he considered the main object of this arrange- ment, the fact, that an entirely unexpected visit from a stranger might not altogether suit the convenience of an establishment so con- fined as that of Mrs. Brown's, did not slip his regard or consideration.

When Anne reached home, she had a hard part to play. The anxiety she felt for her mo- ther ; the pang she received when she saw the sunken eye of her beloved parent fixed — not tearless — on her returned child, filled with a half- sanguine, half-hopeless expression, and heard her breathing heavily, made her heart ache to its very centre. Filled with gratitude to their expected benefactor, she endeavoured to explain to her suffering mother the extent of his kindness and consideration, while the recol- lection of the callous barbarity of the man she had once loved, and whom she believed to have loved her, wrung her to the very soul.

That she was indignant at the treatment she had experienced, who shall doubt .? — but who, that knows woman, will doubt either that in the

144 JACK BRAG.

heart where Love has once dwelt, the very me- mory of his presence there, will extenuate the fault which should make the object hateful.

This generous, gentle feeling turned all the force of the indignation which ought to have been directed against the paltry pretender himself, towards his associates, to whose baleful influence Anne entirely attributed the astounding change which had taken place in his manners. Even the neglect of her letter v/as laid to the same account ; but yet what made the wound he had inflicted rankle the more, was the impossibilitv at the present juncture of risking her mother's tranquillity — perhaps existence, by telling her what had occurred, or of accounting for her lengthened absence by explaining the cause of the indisposition to which it was attributable.

In less than two hours after Anne's return the doctor, true to his promise, arrived. It is scarcely possible to describe her feelings as he entered the room where her mother lay ; it seemed as if Hope had revived in her breast — that there was somebody who felt an interest for them. She drew back from the bed-side.

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and hid her face in her hands to conceal her emotion : she cried like a child, and tears again were a relief to her aching heart.

The kind doctor's questions to Mrs. Brown were few: the case needed little enquiry — it was a sinking of nature, caused, as it seemed to him, less by bodily ills than mental affliction, and considerably accelerated by the want of pro- per air, and, he almost feared, nourishment. He wrote a prescription, rather however as a mat- ter of form, satisfactory to the patient, than with any view of the success of medicine, and then, having taken leave of his patient, beckoned Anne to follow him from the apartment.

" Your mother must be removed as soon as she can bear the fatigue," said the doctor. " Change of air and diet are absolutely neces- sary."

Anne heard the fiat in silence, and again tears rolled down her cheeks.

" I should think," continued Dr. Mead, " that with care and a proper regimen the removal might be effected in four or five days."

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146 JACK BRAG.

Still Anne remained silent and trembling, her eyes cast down upon the ground.

" You should contrive to amuse her mind," said the doctor ; " she should not refuse to see her friends."

" God help us !" sobbed Anne, unable longer to conceal her agitation, — " we have no friends ! What is to be done. Heaven knows ! She must be moved ; your kind directions shall be obeyed, sir; — I" —

" My dear young lady," said Mead, " you wrong yourself, and me, when you say you have no friends. In me. you have a friend. Rely on Providence, and never despair : — friends will always be raised up for confiding piety, for suf- fering virtue, and for filial duty in distress. I will not indelicately press my enquiries, but you must permit me to act upon my own advice, /am the friend your mother must admit. I will call here to-morrow ; and I think, without putting either of you to much inconvenience, I can secure you a comfortable residence in a worthy and respectable family, in a desir- able climate. / must manage all this ; and

JACK BRAG. 147

perhaps I may be able, at no distant period, to give you and your mother a good reason why she need not feel herself vmder any serious obligation to me: — upon this point I will not trouble you to-day, — you have had worry and agitation enough. Keep yourself calm and quiet ; cheer your mother's hopes — there is no fear of a dangerous result ; upon that point I will stake my reputation. Let her have the medicine I have written for, and to-morrow, by one, I shall see you again."

Saying which, he shook hands with the grateful Anne, and proceeded to his carriage.

At no period of our lives does kindness so powerfully affect us as when it comes imme- diately after we have received some cruel blow. The affectionate tone and spirit of the doctor's consolatory address struck to Anne's heart, and she returned to her mother, blessing God who had raised up such a help to them in the hour of gloom and adversity.

The doctor's benevolence did not stop here, even for the day. In the evening, whilst Anne was preparing the best refreshment she could

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contrive to procure with but slender means of purchase and small skill in cookery, the house- keeper of the excellent doctor arrived, bringing with her, sundry little delicacies, and some wine which her master "had taken the liberty of send- ing, because by experience he knew its sound- ness and excellence of quality, and was there- fore sure it would be serviceable to his patient in her particular case ;" in short, every comfort was secured to her that sympathy could sug- gest or art provide; and, as Anne herself said, the very feelings which such attentions inspired, contributed of themselves materially to exhila- rate and revive her poor mother, whose bodily ailments, as Mead had surmised, were painfully aggravated by mental depression.

And yet, grateful to Providence as Anne was, with a heart overflowing with thankful- ness to the generous, noble-minded man who in a few hours had converted a house of mourn- ing into a house of hope, if not of happiness, — when she laid her head upon the pillow near her mother, who slept tranquilly, her first thoughts were of that unworthy being by whom

JACK BRAG. 149

she had been first insulted and then repudiated even as a common acquaintance, in the street that morning;.

It seemed like a dream to her even then. Prepared as she must have been, and indeed had told him she was, eternally to resign any claim of a tender nature upon his heart, she could not bear the thought of being spurned by the man for whom she had permitted herself not only to feel, but admit that she felt, an af- fection. That she had not deserved such usage was self-evident, and that she should receive it particularly after her last appeal, was galling and distracting beyond endurance. Lit- tle did she think how perfectly disconnected with that appeal his conduct was, or suspect how he had treated her last letter.

These thoughts, and those of early days, were naturally blended in her mind with the memory of her brother George, whose long silence was another source of anxiety and agi- tation ; nor could she forget, besides the ten- derer ties to John, the closeness of their con- nexion by George''s marriage. If George had

150 JACK BRAG.

been at home, thought Anne, he would not have behaved so — but George too has forgotten us. All those who once were dear to us, and we to them, are gone ! and we are helped and com- forted by the stranger upon whom we have no claim, and who has no tie to us but his own benevolence.

In the morning, Mrs. Brown awoke after a refreshing sleep, very much better than even her watchful daughter could have hoped. It was but too evident that the physician had rightly decided on the character of her com- plaint, and the absolute necessity of a change of regimen in the first instance, to be followed up by a removal from the close atmosphere of a small room in a gas-lighted suburban village to a purer air. Indeed, so very much better did her mother appear, that Anne repeated to her the verbal prescription of the doctor, add- ing the proposal he had made of providing them with a comfortable residence in a family known to himself.

For three days did Dr. Mead continue his visits punctually, bringing with him upon each

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occasion some little luxury prepared for use, under the plea that he was most anxious his patient's food should be dressed according to rule, and that he could not be satisfied unless his own servants were the operators, under his own immediate direction. At the expiration of a week he pronounced her capable of bearing the fatigue of removal ; and on the following Saturday evening Mrs. Brown and her daugh- ter found themselves established in a delightful cottage surrounded by gardens and fields, with- in four miles of town, the master and mistress of which appeared the devoted servants of the wor- thy doctor, and vied with each other in showing attention and courtesy to their new inmates.

With returning health, there arose in Mrs. Brown's mind an irresistible feeling of embar- rassment connected with her present situation. She found herself and her daughter placed in a position of ease and comfort, with the con- sciousness hanging over her that she was inca- pable of affording the luxuries which she was enjoying, and a sensitive unwillingness either to trespass upon the kindness of their benefactor,

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or if that kindness were merely limited to the recommendation of their new residence, equally anxious not to involve herself in expenses which she was aware that she could not defray.

The doctor''s hours of visiting his patient were different from those which he had fixed before their removal. He came in the even- ings, partook of their tea, and sat longer and stayed later each evening that he came — and so a week wore away — ajid yet Mrs. Brown had not the courage to put those questions which she had resolved somehow to ask, and to which her medical friend's conduct certainly did not ap- pear likely to afford any practical solution ; for when he congratulated her upon the improve- ment of her health, he alluded to a trial of some new medicine, about the effects of which upon her constitution he was very sanguine, and which he should begin with, in " a week or two."

The words had scarce passed his lips, when the eyes of mother and daughter met, not un- seen by the doctor, who immediately added to what he had already said : — " Perhaps you

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may be of opinion that in that time you will have no need of any medicine at all."

This seemed to be an occasion which Mrs. Brown might seize, of coming to an expla- nation of her feelings, and she availed herself of it accordingly ; and, difficult as was the task to perform, she contrived to make the doctor understand the delicacy of her posi- tion, and the apprehensions under which she laboured.

" My dear madam," .said Mead, " I am de- lighted that you have given me an opportunity of speaking upon this matter. As the worthy people of this house can tell you, or may per- haps have told you, you are not ^he first pa- tient I have recommended to their care ; and that when such an event happens, I consider them my guests during their residence here. In your case, however, there are circumstances very dif- ferent from those which occur in many others, as far as I am concerned : — you have, naturally enough, forgotten me; but we have met before the occasion upon which 1 recently visited

you."

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" Indeed !" said the lady, somewhat incre- dulously.

" Indeed," replied the physician, " I have dined in your house, madam, more than once. I was not aware of this fact when first I called on you, but circumstances and coincidences led me to institute an enquiry, and I found in you^ madam, the widow of the man to whom I may, without exaggeration, attribute my suc- cess in life, and the place I now hold in society and my profession."

" You surprise me exceedingly," said Mrs. BroAvn.

" It is now more than four-and-twenty years since," said Dr. Mead, " that I was recom- mended to the notice of Mr. Brown by a friend of his and a connexion of mine, then living at Bristol ; and upon my arrival in London I was, in consequence of that introduction, invited to your house, where, as I have already said, I dined more than once. But it was not by mere commonplace hospitality that Mr. Brown proved the warmth and sincerity of his feelings towards me. Upon one occasion, when an op-

JACK BRAG. 155

portunity presented itself — in all human pro- bability the deciding opportunity of my life for furthering my professional views — a sum of money was necessary to the accomplishment of my wishes, of which I was not possessed. Had not Mr. Brown at that time generously assisted me, I must have relinquished the ob- ject I had in view, the realization of which, proved, as I have already said, the foundation of my fortunes. I have now, I think, said suf- ficient to overcome all your scruples with re- gard to my present conduct ; and I only rejoice that the opportunity is afforded me of proving to you and this dear young lady, that there is still in the world such a sentiment as Grati- tude."

" This is most extraordinary I" said Anne. " For several years," continued Dr. Mead, " after my return from the Continent, I en- deavoured to find out the widow of my bene- factor, but without success, and I look upon that as one of the most fortunate hours of my life in which the suffering daughter of my first friend came to require my assistance, at-

156 JACK BRAG.

tracted to me by a reputation which her father had so materially contributed to establish. Now," added he, " you may look on me with feelings far different from those which have hitherto occupied your hearts and minds: — in me you see only the protege endeavouring as much as in his power lies, to evince his thank- fulness where it is so justly due."

" What are we to say to you ?" said the agitated parent.

" Nothing, nothing," interrupted Mead. " Permit me to continue my visits, now, luck- ily not rendered professionally necessary. Let me entreat you to remain whei'e you are, and allow me, whenever I can, to come hither and enjoy in your society, and that of your exem- plary daughter, a repose after the hurries and worries of a London life, which I have long but vainly sought."

Nobody can doubt what, under the circum- stances, was the course Mrs. Brown pursued, although, it must be confessed, that she even then, had her doubts as to the truth of the doc- tor's narrative ; regarding the statement of his

JACK BRAG. 157

obligations to her husband, and his consequent success in life, rather as the fruits of an inven- tive faculty, exerted in order to overcome her scruples and satisfy her delicacy, than as a matter-of-fact bit of history. ' Of herself, she had not the slightest recol- lection of the name of her new old friend in the catalogue of visiters at her house ; nor could she recall to her mind the personal appearance of any guest at her husband's hospitable board which bore a resemblance to the doctor. A quarter of a century had elapsed, and the tal- low-faced pupil of the hospitals had grown into the mellow-tinted arbiter of the mortal destinies of men ; and if the doctor had been sufficiently ungallant (which doctors never are) to have made an ample confession on his part, it is quite certain he must have said, that he found not in the sinking widow whom he had restored, any remains of the charms and attractions which had in his early days characterized the gay and dashing wife.

P'tor Brown however had, in the zenith of his career, been as hospitable as a Madeira mer-

158 JACK BRAG.

chant, and was wont to welcome to his table men of all trades and nations, all callings and professions. He held it to be part of his busi- ness to cement connexions by social intercourse, and therefore while he kept in fact, open house, it was morally impossible for his lady, who wa^ not much interested in the casual guests " be- low the salt," to recollect all their names or persons. Still she could hardly divest herself of the idea that the doctor's history was a sooth- ing fiction ; although her daughter, whose opi- nion of the said doctor was somehow more favourable than that of her parent, declared her conviction that he was much too honourable, too candid, and too sincere, to endeavour to carry even a favourite point by deception or misrepresentation.

How this paragon of physicians turned out in the wearing, we may perhaps live to see.

JACK BRAG. 159

CHAPTER VI.

It was a short time after this, that Mr. Brag was called upon to perform a feat for the amuse- ment of his aristocratic friends, which, however powerful the effect it actually did produce, ter- minated in a manner less agreeable to the actor than the audience.

Upon our hero's arrival one day at the lodg- ings of Lord Tom Towzle, he found his lordship and two other worthies concocting an answer to a matrimonial advertisement which had appear- ed in the columns of that most fashionable of all journals, The Morning Post ; and Jack's ap- pearance to take his seat in such a council was hailed with enthusiasm ; — in fact, he was the very man to undertake the conduct of the whole affair.

The advertisement ran thus : —

160 JACK BRAG.

" Matrimony. — A widow lady, in good cir- cumstances and of high respectability, being, from causes which she will be most happy to explain, left much alone, is desirous of again entering the married state, provided she could find a gentleman of honour and character who might feel a similar wish. The advertiser is aware that an address of this nature is unusual, and may therefore create a prejudice against her in the minds of some ; she is, however, con- fident, that upon investigation her conduct will be shown to be perfectly justifiable. Letters, post-paid, directed to A. Z, to be left at the Twopenny Post-oflice the corner of Little Queen Street, Holborn, will be attended to : but as it is not the intention of the advertiser to gratify idle curiosity, no farther particulars will be entered into, until after an interview between the parties."

" This is capital !" said Lord Tom. " We have seen hundreds of men advertising for wives, but the lady being the applicant is some- thing new. However, she is evidently no fool ;

JACK BRAG. 161

she is determined to see her man before she ex- plains herself. You, my dear Brag, must be the recipient of her wishes and sorrows. We have just concluded a reply, fixing a meeting upon Waterloo Bridge, a locality chosen in prefer- ence to any of the Parks, squares, or gardens, on account of its solitude, — a quality which has reduced it as a speculation to worse than nil, which, considering it is one of the most splen- did ornaments of the metropolis, is most deeply to be regretted.""

Jack was delighted at being fixed upon to talk over the fair advertiser ; his self-acknow- ledged invincibility was admitted. It was his particular ybr^e — and it was speedily arranged that his three companions should remain at a convenient distance until the parley should have proceeded to a certain extent, when they were manfully to avow themselves confederates in the scheme, and eventually drive the rash damsel " fainting from the ground."

It must be confessed that the system of mate- hunting through the medium of the news- papers, is one. which not unnaturally subjects

162 JACK BRAG.

its practitioners to the assaults of the mis- chievous and merciless. Whether any of the negociations, of which such notices are the pre- cursors, terminate satisfactorily, — that is to say, in the union of the parties — it is impos- sible to say ; but it does seem, for people who have eyes and ears and hands and tongues, the strangest possible course of proceeding.

Jack, who in all his antics kept his eye upon the main chance, was by no means the less inclined to the performance of this hoax upon the defenceless innocence of the yet unknown fair-one, by a notion which flashed into his mind, that it might turn out that she really was handsome and rich : a notion which, to be sure, was rather romantic, inasmuch as it would ap- pear that a lady possessing those qualifications — or even one, provided it were the latter — need not have had recourse to a public proclamation of her wish for a husband. Something, how- ever might come of it : it was the opening of a new field for the exertion of his talents, and the display would, he felt certain, place him a step or two higher in the estimation of his noble sporting friends.

JACK BRAG. 163

The letter, addressed as desired, was des- patched, the postage paid, the day and hour were fixed, and the party separated to meet a few minutes previous to the rencontre, and arrange their forces, as has already been de- scribed ; three forming a corps of observation, while Brag was performing his light-infantry evolutions in advance.

It must be quite clear to the reader, that upon such an occasion Jack took the greatest possible pains to make himself what he called " the thing ;" every fold of his coloured neck- handkerchief was laid with the most anxious nicety of form and tint, every curl was crisped into its own peculiar place, and the whole of his costume made to look like that of " a genteel comedy" playhouse beau, which, as he believed, must be irresistible in a widow's eyes.

At length the wished-for day and hour ar- rived. Lord Tom Towzle and his two friends were joined by Brag at the corner of Pall Mall, and proceeded to the scene of action, where they took up their stations a few minutes be- fore two — two being the appointed time for the

164 JACK BRAG.

meeting — and having separated according to the programme, Mr. John Brag commenced his amatory promenade on one side of the bridge, while his expectant companions occupied the other, but at a considerable distance from him. It was a pleasing thing to see our hero set- tling himself and pulling up his shirt collar, then drawing on his glove, then twirling a little switch- like stick which he carried, and then using it in whipping his own boots, shining with a lustre which Day and Martin might have envied. He had scarcely finished one turn when the Lon- don clocks began striking two, which at differ- ent periods they continued to do, for nearly five minutes, that of St. Paul's booming through the air about midway between the subordi- nates.— Another turn had been taken, and no fair one was in sight : — ^a small girl in trousers, with her hair platted into two long tails with bows at their ends, and a bustle, approach- ed — she was evidently no widow ; she pass- ed on ; Jack tried the eloquence of his eyes upon hei': — then came a tall, gaunt woman, with a poodle dog. Jack looked at Aer, but she

JACK BRAG. 165

made no sign. At last there appeared a fine portly-looking dame, dressed in a coquelicot bonnet, topped up with white and green feathers, a lavender-coloured pelisse, and bufF-coloured boots. The friends in the distance were con- vinced that this was the person. She looked behind her and before her, and first on one side, and then on the other, and proceeded at a steady pace. She drew a full-sized, white- faced watch from her bosom, and gazed upon its dial, and then tossed her well-plumed head with an air of impatience and surprise at the non-appearance of her summoner. '

John Brag, Esq. beheld the vision, and if he had seen all the daemons of the Hartz Fo- rest pemmican^d into one plump lady, he could not have felt more horror and dismay. By what fatal accident, what evil coincidence, it should so have occurred, he could not imagine ; — the extensive being before him, and now fast approaching, was neither more nor less than his respectable mother.

What the deuce could have brought her so far from home, and so wonderfully fine in her

166 JACK BRAG.

dress, Jack could not imagine ; the question was, what was to be done ? If he advanced, another minute would bring him in contact, and into conversation, with his parent ; if he retreat- ed, he must fall back upon his friends, and she would inevitably follow and accost him. The brightness of his genius came to his aid in this unexpected dilemma — he resolved instantly to join her, turn round with her, and fall into the dialogue which he saw must take place, and make his companions believe that his companion was the real object of their expedition, the advertising lady.

This scheme possessed many advantages, for the very circumstance of his relationship to his companion would afford him an opportunity of exhibiting the ease and familiarity of his man- ner while talking to the supposed advertiser, which would convince his companions that he was proceeding most successfully in his career ; during which period he hoped to set his beloved mother on her way on the other side of the water before they could come up to enact their part of laughing at the victim, which it was

JACK BRAG. 167

settled they were not to do, until Brag should give a signal that the moment for explosion had arrived.

The ingenious performer, however, had reck- oned without his host. When he and his mo- ther met, the expression of her countenance was anything but agreeable : she seemed, in fact, as much mortified and annoyed by his appearance as he had been by hers : and with all his desire to keep good friends with her, and wheedle her away as soon as possible, he could not dis- guise the anxiety with which he watched the approach of the fair husband-hunter, upon whom, so long as his parent remained where she was, he could not of course play his tricks.

" Well, John," said the lady, " who would have thought that we should have met here to-day ? I 'm sure I don't know how long it is since I 've set eyes upon you."

" 1 have been a good deal out of town," said Brag, acting (for effect with his friends) in the most civil and obsequious manner.

" What," said Mrs. Brag, " at your little

168 JACK BRAG.

place in Surrey. I suppose you are coining from it now — eh, Johnny ?"

" No, not exactly," said Jack. " May I ask where you are going .''"

" Nowhere particular,"" replied the lady. " Don't let me keep you. I am only out to make a call. I can go without you.''''

" I will just see you to the gate,*" said Jack, carefully abstaining from any gesture or move- ment which could in the slightest degree resem- ble the appointed signal for the co-operation of his friends.

" Don't mind me, John," said his mother ; " it is so nice and airy up here, that I think I shall take a turn or two on the bridge before I go." ' " My dear mother," said Brag, " you '11 catch your death of cold. Let me persuade you to get off as soon as you possibly can."

" I like air," said Mrs. Brag ; " so you go your way. Who are those men standing out there ? Do you know them .''"

" Those men !" said Brag — " what, those three men there ? — no — I know nothing about them."

JACK BRAG. 169

" Well then, good b'ye, John," said the lady. " Now don't let me keep you ; it is more than a quarter after two, and I needn't be at my friend's till three ; so now go — there 's a dear !"

This was a puzzler : — the fancy his mother had taken to walk upon Waterloo Bridge seem- ed to Jack not only the most extraordinary, but the most inconvenient imaginable. He could not leave her without accounting to his friends for not having made the signal, or for the con- versation in which it was but too evident to them he was engaged ; nor could he, in fact, go near them, without practically contradicting the de- claration he had just made to his mother, that he knew nothing about them. He decided.

" Well then, mother," said he, " if you really do like to walk up and down a little, I don't see why I should not walk up and down with you."

" Well, I 'm sure !" said Mrs. Brag, " won- ders will never cease, I think ! Walk up and down with me ! — why you have not done such a thing these three years. Why, we have never been out together since the day you took me

VOL. I. I

170 JACK BRAG.

down to dinner at Blackwall, and kept me shut up in an attic at the ' Artichoke,' because, you said, I wasn't fit to be seen by the company. No, no — go about 1/our business, and leave me to mine."

" I am waiting for somebody," said Jack.

" Oh ! that 's it," cried Mrs. Brag. " I thought there must be something in the wind."

" I know you don't like spoiling sport, mo- ther," said Brag. " I 'm here on a bit of fun : — I '11 let you into the joke. I expect every mo- ment to see an uncommon smart body, who has been fool enough to advertise for a husband — eh ! — don't you see ? We 've tipped her a twopenny, fixing this, as the place of meeting : it 's past the time, and I dare say she won't be much longer. Now, perhaps, ii you stop, she won't come to the scratch."

" Advertise for a husband !" exclaimed Mrs. Brag — " why, what have you been at ? Did you answer the advertisement ?"

" Clean as a whistle," said Jack, flourishing his stick, and shaking his head with an air of uncommon self-satisfaction, " smack smooth, and no mistake — eh !"

JACK BRAG. 171

*' What ! appointing her here " — said the lady.

" Here at two," said Brag — " the ador- able A. Z. at the oil-shop the corner of Little Queen Street, Holborn."

" You did, did you ?" ejaculated his mother.

" I did," said Brag.

" Well then, all I say, John,'' cried Mrs. Brag, " is, that you ought to be ashamed of yourself. If you was a lone widow woman, how would you like to sit moping and mump- ing all alone, after having been used to socia- bility and comfort."

" I see nothing to be ashamed of," said Brag. " If people will make themselves such Tom-noddies as to put such trumpery stuff into the newspapers, they deserve all they get."

" How you ferreted it out, I don't know," said Mrs. Brag.

" Ferret what out ?" said Jack.

*' — But this I do know," continued the lady " the letter was not in your hand-writing."

" How the deuce do you know thatV inter- rupted Jack.

i2

172 JACK BRAG.

" Why, do you think I don't know your little scribbling pot-hooks and hangers when I see them ?" retorted the mother.

" I dare say you do," said the son ; " but how came you to see the letter we sent to A. Z. at the pickle-shop ?""

" As if you didn't know," said Mrs. Brag. " Do you suppose I am so blind as not to see through your antics .? No, no : as I said be- fore, how you ferreted it out I don't yet under- stand ; and when you had, I think you might have been better set to work than to hoax a parent.""

** I 'm all at sea," said Jack. " What have you or your affairs to do with our fun T""

" Do !" screamed the angry lady, " do — why what else should they have to do with .? So now you are ashamed of your spy tricks, and want to sham that you did not know who A. Z. at the pickle-shop, as you call her, is."

" I '11 be hanged if I do," said Jack.

" Then hanged it is my belief you will be," replied the mother, " you know as well as / do, that I am that individual."

JACK BRAG. 173

iC

You !" cried Jack — " you A. Z. at the pickle-shop !"

At this moment Brag''s miseries were, as he thought, at their acme — but he was mistaken. The instant he received the unexpected and most unwelcome intelligence, that the object of his diversion and ridicule, to enjoy which three of his iirst-rate friends had been brought to the scene of action, was really and truly his mother, his course was clear ; apology and conciliation were the weapons with which he was to assail her, and having soothed her anger, he would walk her off the ground as speedily as possible ; a course which he considered quite practica- ble, now that she must be convinced, however angry, that there was no use in her remaining on it.

" jNIy dear mother," said Brag, " I am truly and seriously sorry for this affair. If I had fan- cied it possible — but I — really — dear me ! — this is all very uncomfortable."

" If I thought you didn't do it on purpose," said Mrs. Brag, " I shouldn't mind it half so much."

174 JACK BRAG.

<(

My dear mother," said Brag, " I do most positively assure you'"" —

To which point of assurance his speech had arrived, when, tired of procrastination, and satisfied that Brag had admirably performed his part of the farce, his three friends bounced across the road, and joined the unhappy crea- ture, forming, as it were, ^ semicircle in his rear.

" Come, Jack," said Lord Tom Towzle, " you have had enough of this fun. Is he vastly agreeable, ma'am ? Isn't he a nice little man .''"

" What !" exclaimed Mrs. Brag, " you do know these gentlemen ! Why, you little story- teller, you said they were no acquaintances of yours."

" If I did "—said John— '

" — If yon did!" said Mrs. Brag — "why, you know you did : — and so these are the compa- nions of your trick — the witnesses of your im- pudence !"

*' Pray, ma'am," said one of the dandies, " do not flurry yourself — we are not going to

JACK BRAG. 175

eat you ! — we were only anxions to have the pleasure of seeing you, because, as we all want wives more or less, we thought, like yourself, we might as well take the opportunity of view- ing, before purchase.""

" Oh, Johnny, Johnny !"" said Mrs. Brag, holding up her pink and white-striped parasol in a posture of threat — "you would do much better if you would but stick to the shop, and do your duty by me : if that was the case, you would not drive your poor mother to do what you yourself are most active to turn into ridi- cule. I '11 find this out — I '11 sift it to the very bottom : my belief is, that you have been pump- ing Jim Salmon, or one of the shopboys, to make this precious discovery, in order to amuse your fine friends at the expense of your parent."

" Parent !" exclaimed Lord Tom Towzle — " what ! ma'am, is — ? — eh !""

" How !" cried one of his friends. — "What !" said another.

" Why, you see," said Brag, " I— I "—

" ' I '11 tell it you shorter," said Mrs. Brag, around whom and her auditors a crowd of four

176 JACK BRAG.

or five of the diurnal two dozen foot-passengers were now congregated : — "he is my son — and not content with letting an excellent business go to rack and ruin while he is cutting his capers, and leaving an anxious mother to a solentary life and melancholy prospects — here he is"—

" Pray, ma'am," said Lord Tom Towzle, " in what line may you be ?"

" Wax and tallow chandler," said Mrs. Brag, " including sperm and other oils, flambeaux, tapers, bougies, and sealing-wax of all colours and qualities."

" She 's mad, poor thing !" said Jack — " fan- cies herself my mother ! Did you ever hear "i — go home, ma'am — go — and don't expose your- self again by writing such stuff in the news- papers."

" What ! Jack," said Lord Tom Towzle, " is A. Z. at the pickle-shop, corner of Little Queen Street, Holborn, }'our mamma?"

" So she says," said Brag.

" Says !" exclaimed the indignant matron, — " it isn't that you are much to be proud of:

JACK BRAG. 177

but here, gentlemen, here's the card of the shop — I never travel without half a pack in my pocket — here, see — judge who is right now. Oh ! if his poor dear father could but get out of his grave in Cripplegate church- yard to see the use his darling son has put all his indulgence to" —

" He would probably go back again into it, ma'am, as fast as he possibly could," said Lord Tom.

" For my part," said the widow, looking at the slice of nobility which had last addressed her, " I begin to think you are no better than he is ; however" —

Here, an admonitory — " Come — move on, move on," from two policemen on duty, put a check to the conversation, which promised to become more and more animated.

" Move on !" said Mrs. Brag, who at this period was in a burning rage, the flame of which glowed on her cheeks and sparkled in her eyes: — "yes, Mr. Policeman, I'll move on, and move off too ; but it would serve that little whipper-snapper cockney son of mine right

i5

178 JACK BRAG.

to send him to the Station House for what he has done."

" Go home, poor soul !" said Brag, trying what " dejected pity" might do : — " go home, and get cool : I '11 come and see you soon." Then, turning to his companions, he added: — " I 've heard that gentle remedies are best, eh !

— the soothing system, as Dr. Dulcimer calls it, eh ! Go home."

" Don't be a fool. Jack," exclaimed Mrs. Brag, " you'll repent of this some day. All these fine-weather friends who set you on to play tricks for them to laugh at, will leave you the minute your troubles begin, just as rats run Qut of a falling house ; and perhaps they would not be so fond of you now, if they knew that your town mansion was nothing but a brass plate, and your little place in Surrey, a second floor over a carpenter's shop. Get you gone

— get you gone ! If you have no feeling for yourself, Jacky, I cannot help feeling for you."

Away flounced the indignant mother; and hav- ing squeezed herself with some difficulty through one of the anti-cheating turnstiles at the end of

JACK BRAG. 179

the bridge, bounced along Wellington Street to- Avards the Strand, Lord Tom Towzle signalizing himself, and delighting the spectators, by imi- tating, at the top of his voice, the crowing of a cock, triumphantly victorious in the over- throw of an enemy — an exhibition which has been more than once received with unbounded applause in a theatre in Westminster, which yet remains beyond the reach of the Licenser.

"Well, now," said one of Jack's three friends, " who is this old catamaran ? Why does she insist upon being your mother? — is it because her name is the same ? — or " —

Here again was Jack puzzled most wonder- fully. To renounce her as a parent, and de- nounce her as a cheat, was something too strong even for his assurance.

" — Why," said our hero, " I believe, if truth were to be told, she is my mother."

" Truth to be told !" said Lord Tom, " why. Jack, although there may, in these wicked days, be something like reason in the proverb that says, ' it is a wise child who knows his own father, — the adage cannot hold good as re-

180 JACK BRAG.

gards the female parent; — there can be no great doubt about that."

" Why," said Jack again, who generally be- gan his speeches with why, — why, he knew not, — " why, you see, my mother" — And then again nature interposed : — it was not feeling, it was not tenderness, nor even affection, which held him back, or checked the tongue on which some flippant falsehood was gathering — it was instinct, — not better in its character perhaps (if so good) than that of a chimpanzee, but it was enough to paralyze his efforts to shuffle off the relationship between himself and the maltreated A. Z. at the pickle-shop at the cor- ner of Little Queen Street, Holborn— " Why," again said Jack, " I am sorry we made so bad a shot, — because I believe it is a good deal my own fault — I have driven her to it, eh ! Can't keep at work and " —

Brag had now fallen into his own trap ; his

impudence for once failed him, and he stood

confessed the son of the determined husband-

huntincf widow of the deceased tallow chandler.

" But, Jack," said Lord Tom, " what did

JACK BRAG. 181

your amiable parent mean by the brass plate, and the carpenter's shop — the mansion and the villa ?"

" Oh, that," said Jack, " was all passion. When a woman's back 's up, she 11 say any- thing, no matter what. I am sorry it has hap- pened, because it has exposed her, and cer- tainly has not come off the bat, clean, smack smooth, and no mistake."

" No, that you cannot say," said Lord Tom ; " however, never mind it ; the old lady will forgive you. You must go and see her, and make it up. Suppose we all go in a body and apologise, and I '11 explain to her the circum- stances of the affair, and convince her that you really were totally ignorant that she was the advertiser, eh ! Shall we do thatV

This proposition produced a violent acces- sion to Jack"'s already raging fever. The thought of Lord Tom Towzle and the two " nobs," as he called them, proceeding en masse through the shop to the back-parlour beforementioned, under the row of wooden candles fluttering in the breeze, was perfect misery to him.

182 JACK BRAG.

" No, no," said Brag, " by no means ! I have always noticed that a woman cools soon- est when left alone. — My mother," said Brag, assuming a new tone, and which he thought to be the wisest, " is a woman of what you call strong feeling — mighty high — old family — and proud as Lucifer. She 's in a passion ; and when she is out of it I '11 go to her — mol- lify her, eh ! — smooth her down, and make all snug and comfortable."

*' — * And no mistake,' Jack," said Lord Tom. " Well, all I hope is, your nerves won't be shaken for the race to-morrow. ' Slap-bang' is the